Disability Jokes

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A scientific survey has recently found that 6/7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

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Disability Jokes

I think dyslexic people should form an onion.

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Disability Jokes

Why do deaf people make the best gynecologists?
Because they’re good at reading lips.

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Disability Jokes

Just started the new sensible eating diet. I’ve now stopped eating my meals using a soap-dish and a pair of scissors.

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Disability Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

What do you call a guy who can swim without using his arms and legs?
Clever diск.

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Disability Jokes

When I first found out I had a tumor I was horrified but now it’s starting to grow on me.

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Disability Jokes

If someone is deaf what language does the voice in their head speak?

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Disability Jokes

Just because I’m dyslexic doesn’t mean I don’t layve you.

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Disability Jokes

No matter how hard I try, I always seem to be going round in circles.
Having a broken arm while in a wheelchair isn’t ideal.

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Disability Jokes

How many tourette sufferers does it тwат to caun a light воllоскs?

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Disability Jokes

When is the only polite time to slap a мidgет?
When he says, “Gee, your hair smells terrific.”

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Disability Jokes

I went for that laser eye surgery today and it went really well until I came to pay the bill. When I asked why it was nearly £1000 per eye instead of the advertised £395, they simply said “Hidden charges, didn’t you see the small print?”

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Disability Jokes

A telephone rang. “Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?”
“Yes, it is,” came the reply.
“Thank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the telephone keypad.”

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Disability Jokes

Hearing aid for sale. Anyone interested,
Give me a shout.

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Disability Jokes

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet  in a pub. Sol has a patch over one eye,  a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ye?”
Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull роор.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

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Disability Jokes Pirate Jokes

How about this for an earth-shattering Dilemma?? ….
….
A sign in Braille that says, “Do Not Touch.” (?)

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Disability Jokes

Anyone here with one leg?
I have a ton of socks you can have

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Disability Jokes

I was walking up the road when I noticed a street performer with no arms, dancing away without a care in the world.
I stopped to appreciate how really good he was doing considering his disability. I tapped him on the shoulder and said “mate, ur a really good dancer. He said.. “I ain’t fuскin dancin you сunт.. I’ve got a fuскin itch on the сrаск of my аrsе!”.

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Disability Jokes

I joined a forum for people with down syndrome.
Comments are disabled.

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Disability Jokes

My мidgет landlord told me that he wants me to leave my house by tommorow night. That‘s short notice.

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Disability Jokes