Fitness jokes

Most popular in this category

Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.

0 0

Fitness jokes

I found a hole in my trainer that’s big enough to put my finger through.
One formal complaint from her, and I’m now banned from the gym.

0 0

Fitness jokes

Madam:

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Thiruvananthapuram. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside Kerala. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid ваlls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am a jolly gаy. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not suскing tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.. I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants are always open for you.

I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only.

What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,

Yours and only yours Kutty

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Dating Jokes Fitness jokes

Was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill.
People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.

0 0

Fitness jokes

I finally told my wife the truth; that I was seeing a psychiatrist.
Then she told me the truth: that she is seeing a psychiatrist, two bartenders, the mailman and her fitness trainer.

0 0

Fitness jokes Cheating Jokes

Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.

26 0

Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes

If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.

0 0

Facebook Jokes Fitness jokes

When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.

25 0

Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Fitness jokes

At the gym… just finished my 3rd set of selfies.

0 0

Fitness jokes

I love the gym this time of year.
The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.

0 0

Fitness jokes

I came home from the gym this morning staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit … And all I did was sign up.

0 0

Fitness jokes

The gym is like church to some people.
No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.

0 0

Fitness jokes

Each mile you run adds 1 minute to your life, so when you’re 80 you can spend an extra 6 months in a nursing home at $10,000 per month.

0 0

Fitness jokes

I was pumping some iron in the gym yesterday, when the trainer pointed out that the hole in the weights was supposed to be for attaching them to a bar.

0 0

Fitness jokes

I knew getting a treadmill would help my wife get more exercise.
She started this morning and is already half away across the room towards it.

0 0

Fitness jokes

I was standing nакеd in front of the mirror admiring my 6 pack ……
But, it started to get warm, so I put the beers back in the fridge.

0 0

Fitness jokes Beer Jokes

Once again the award for the most sтuрid act ever was given to a man who glued his hands to the bars on a treadmill.
That’s two years running now.

0 0

Men jokes Fitness jokes

I exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors.
Jehovah's fitness.

0 0

Fitness jokes

So I’m in the gym minding my own business when the guy next to me says:
“Hey, man, I can bench 300 pounds - what can you do?”
“Er, read.”

0 0

Men jokes Fitness jokes

The doctor told me I need to cut any excess fат out of my lifestyle.
I couldn’t be any more delighted, I’ve finally got the excuse I needed to divorce my wife.

0 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes Fitness jokes Fat Jokes