Funny sayings

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“He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.”

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Funny sayings

“I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.”

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Funny sayings

“I speak fluent ironic with a solid sarcastic accent.”

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Funny sayings

“I get enough exercise pushing my luck.”

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Funny sayings

“The shortest horror story: Monday.”

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Funny sayings

“I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.”

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“Math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.”

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“The road to success is always under construction.”

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Funny sayings

“My mom said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.”

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Funny sayings

“A good mood is like a balloon: one рriск is all it takes to ruin it.”

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“My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.”

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“I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”

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“They say сriме doesn’t pay. So does my current job make me a criminal?”

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“There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.”

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“The only scenario where you really need a landline today is when you’re trying to find your cell phone.”

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“They say don’t try this at home… so I went to my friend’s home!”

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“Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.”

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“Any of us has the capacity to light up a room. Some when they enter, others when they leave it.”

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“Don’t you wish they made a clap-on-clap-off device for some people’s mouths?”

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“I’m really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.”

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Funny sayings