Funny sayings

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“The perfect man doesn’t swear, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t drink. He also doesn’t exist.”

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Funny sayings

“The leading source of computer problems is computer solutions.”

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Funny sayings

““Stressed” is just “desserts” spelled backwards.”

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Funny sayings

“Hard work pays off in the future. Lounging on the couch pays off right now.”

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Funny sayings

“Finally, spring is here! I’m so thrilled I wet my plants.”

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Funny sayings

“Before my first cup of coffee I hate everybody. That doesn’t change after I’ve had that coffee, but it feels much better.”

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Funny sayings Coffee Jokes

“Don’t vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones at the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn’t even on.”

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Funny sayings

“The first five days after the weekend are the toughest.”

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Funny sayings

“The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.”

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Funny sayings

“They say money doesn’t bring you happiness. Still, it is better to verify things for yourself.”

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Funny sayings

“Smile! It makes people wonder what you are up to.”

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Funny sayings

“The true nature of a human being clearly shows when the supermarket opens a second checkout lane.”

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Funny sayings

“The snorers are always the ones to fall asleep first.”

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Funny sayings

“Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.”

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Funny sayings

“Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”

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Funny sayings

“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”

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Funny sayings

“I’d like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?”

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Funny sayings

“Do not let your mind wander too much. It is too small for you to let it out alone.”

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“Chocolate doesn’t ask any questions. Chocolate simply understands.”

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Funny sayings

“I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8 days ago.”

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Funny sayings