Good jokes

Most popular in this category

I dated a tennis player but I’ll never make such a mistake again.
Love has zero meaning to them.

0 0

Good jokes

I wonder, is there a Christian rock band called AC/BC?

0 0

Good jokes

At a press conference:
“Mr. Bush, is it true that you have proof that Iraq owns nuclear weapons?”
“Yes, we have the receipts.”

0 0

Good jokes

Has anybody noticed how we’ve replaced the doffing of the hat with taking out the earbuds when we meet someone?

0 0

Good jokes

A bored customs officer at a border asks a driver, “Cigarettes, drugs, alcohol?”
The driver is confused, “Er… coffee, please?”

0 0

Good jokes

An American calls his Russian friend, “Ilya, I just saw on TV that you have this horrible cold wave, are you OK?”
Ilya replies, “Yeah, sure, we’re fine, it’s not that cold…”
American:
“But they said you have like -40 F over there!”
Ilya:
“Nah, it’s more like 5, that’s normal for a winter.”
American:
“Are you sure? They were showing totally frozen trees, roads covered in ice…”
Ilya:
“Ah I get it! You mean outside!!”

0 0

Good jokes

An English lord calls in his butler, “William, кill that fly at the window for me, please.”
“Why, sir?”
“I’d like to be alone.”

0 0

Good jokes

A new psychiatrist is making rounds, getting acquainted with his new patients, and asks one of them, “So how did you get here, anyways, Mr. Schleppel?”
“Well, doctor, it started with me getting married, a thing I never should have done. I married a widow with an adult daughter who thus became my step-daughter.
When my father came to visit us at Thanksgiving, he fell in love with her and they eventually married. So my step-daughter became my step-mother. Then my wife gave birth to our son who of course was my father’s brother-in-law, because he was the brother of his wife. And because my step-daughter was my step-mother, my son was also my uncle. That means that my wife, being the mother of my step-mother, is my grandmother and I am her grandson. But that’s not everything, because I’m married to my step-grandmother, I’m not only her husband and grandson, but also my own grandfather. I think that’s enough to make anybody go nuts, wouldn’t you agree?”

0 1

Good jokes

It was dark last night when I heard the creak of a door and very silent footsteps. I look up to see my closet door is open – and see my very expensive coat going slowly out of fashion.“

0 0

Good jokes

Global warming?
Just the British burning pointless documents from the EU.

0 0

Good jokes

What doesn’t кill you – makes me angry.

0 0

Good jokes

What do Amsterdam and Tour de France have in common?
Loads of people on drugs riding bikes.

0 0

Good jokes

London Museum of Natural History just opened an exhibit on the Rolling Stones.

0 0

Good jokes

The better the breaks, the deeper the dents on the back bumper.

0 0

Good jokes

Why do prisons only use microfiber pillows and bedcovers?
Because they fear the Icarization of prisoners.

0 0

Good jokes

"Hello? Am I speaking to the Lost and Found?"
"No, this is the oncology department. So more of a Found and Lost."

0 0

Good jokes

It only takes 20 years for a liberal to turn into a conservative, without having to change a single idea.

0 0

Good jokes

It may seem like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to disappear.

0 0

Good jokes

You can go anywhere you like; you must only look serious and carry a clipboard.

0 0

Good jokes

Bulimia, plastic surgery, anorexia – all those are deeply personal, taboo subjects. But talk about botox? Nobody raises an eyebrow.

0 0

Good jokes