Harry Potter Jokes

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What did Harry say to Hermione when she lent him a galleon?
“Thanks for the gold kind, Granger.”

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Harry Potter Jokes

How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?
Weasley twins are 50 percent off.

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Harry Potter Jokes

What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children?
Orange Is the New Black.

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Harry Potter Jokes

What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?
Harry Trotter.

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Harry Potter Jokes

What is bigfoot’s favorite book?
Hairy Potter.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?
Because she gives him hugs and kisses.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Which side of a centaur has more hair?
The outside.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Two Hungarian Horntails walk into a pub.
The first one says, “Sure is hot in here.” The second one snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”

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Harry Potter Jokes

Harry Potter fans be like: “I wanna go to Hogwarts!”
Narnia fans be like: “I wanna go to Narnia!” Hunger Games fans be like: “I’m good…”

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Harry Potter Jokes

Is your name Oliver Wood?
Because you’re definitely a keeper.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Harry Potter cross the road?
No reason. But we’re sure someone will still write fаn-fiction about it.

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Harry Potter Jokes

The barman says, “We don’t serve time-travelers here.”
Hermione walks into a pub with a Time-Turner.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Where might you find Dumbledore’s Army?
Up his sleeve-y!

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Harry Potter Jokes Military Jokes

What did Hermione do when Harry and Ron took the flying car to school?
Finally relaxed.

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Harry Potter Jokes School Jokes

What does Harry Potter have that The Dark Lord doesn’t?
A nose.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Did you survive Avada Kedavra?
Because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his potions рот and his best friend?
They’re both cauldron.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Who/what is this?
I was the pride of those who owned me
and a мurdеr sealed my fate, for years my true identity went unknown, and my end was brought by the one who stopped me from finishing off my foe.
Answer: Slytherin Locket

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Harry Potter Jokes

Who/what is this?
Those I defend I do not love,
And those I fight I cannot hate. The one who hates me most Is the one I will die to protect.
Answer: Snape

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why is herbology Slytherin students’ favorite class?
Because it’s in the greenhouse.

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Harry Potter Jokes School Jokes