Insult Jokes

Most popular in this category

Wife: What's that beeping?" Me:
"That's my seat belt alarm."
Wife:
"How can you ignore something so annoying?"
Me:
"Huh?"

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Insult Jokes

How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?
Put up a Bingo sign.

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Insult Jokes Animal Jokes

Fun fact: If you cut off all your body hair and laid it end to end you'd be a fuскing wеirdо.

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Insult Jokes

How to be insulting when giving directions: Point with four fingers when they ask.

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Insult Jokes

How to be Insulting in Theaters: If the person sitting in front of you is blocking your view, try adopting an irritating cough, or kicking your feet under their seat. Nasty, wet sneezes down the back of their neck are also effective in persuading them to look elsewhere for a seat.

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Insult Jokes

Interviewer:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
Candidate:
"Honesty."
Interviewer:
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
Candidate:
"I don't give a fuск what you think."

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Insult Jokes

Sorry for calling you a whоrе all those times. I didn't realize a lack of love from your parents leaves a hole in your heart that only diскs can fill.

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Insult Jokes

Ya no I saw something today that reminded me of u . It was in the tiolet!

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Insult Jokes

U jiggle like jello and make the boys say hеll no!!

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Insult Jokes

When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary....
Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shiт.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Oh you're straight?
So is spaghetti, until it gets hot.

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Insult Jokes

Teacher:
"You got 0 on your 1000 word essay."
Me:
"Why?"
Teacher:
"You submitted a picture."
Me:
"A pictures worth a 1000 words right?"

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Insult Jokes

You should learn to take a joke as easily you take a diск, whоrе.

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Insult Jokes

A kid gave his teacher a drawing of a соw eating grass.
Teacher: What is this ?
Kid: its a drawing of a соw eating grass.
Teacher: ( looks at the paper. ) where's the grass ?
Kid: the соw ate all of it.
Teacher: ( looks at the paper again. ) then, where's the соw?
Kid: it left because there's no more grass.
**Win**

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Friend: You get those CD's?
Me: What CD's?
Friend: CD's NUTS ВIТСН!
Me: Oh good one did Wilma tell you that one?
Friend: Who the fuск is Wilma?
Me: Wilma my diск fit in your mouth!?

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Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

Life's a вiтсh...
Oh wait that's you!

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Insult Jokes

Вiтсh, please! You've got more сrавs than a seafood platter...

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Insult Jokes

If your'e gonna be two-faced... can you at least make one of them pretty?

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Insult Jokes

Annoying Person : You Need Anger Management Classes
Me: You Need Shut The Fuск Up Classes

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Insult Jokes

Kid: Nice V-neck looks like my sisters
Me: Oh I must of picked up the wrong shirt after I fuскеd her.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes