Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

A young girl’s father had been in the hospital for a serious operation, and for several days he could not receive visitors. Still in pretty bad shape, he was finally allowed a visit from his family. His young daughter was baffled by her father’s condition. “But Dad, you look awful! Didn’t you get my get-well-card?”

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A man and his son walk into a shoe store when the sales man asks, "How can I help you?" The man says he has a dinner to go to and is looking for the right type of shoes. The salesman asks if he is looking for dress shoes, the little boy pipes up and says," but my dad doesn’t wear dresses."

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Kids Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said,
"If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the classroom asked,
"How will that help?"

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

It's so sad to see gаy kids get beat up for their brunch money.

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Money jokes Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes

It seemed that all our appliances had broken in the same week, and repairs were straining our budget. So when I picked up the kids from school and our Jeep started making rattling sounds, I decided that rather than burden my husband, I’d deal with it.
When we got home, the kids rushed right into the house with the news. "Daddy, the Jeep was breaking down, but Mom made the noise stop!"
Impressed, my husband asked,
"How did you fix it?"
"I turned up the volume on the radio," I confessed.

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School Jokes News and Politics Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call. “Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”
The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”
“Um, no,” mumbled the director.
“Or that my brother is unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband left, leaving her broke with four kids?”
“I … I … I had no idea.”
“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”

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Money jokes Kids Jokes

“So, what’s your story then?” My date asked. “Been married, kids?”
“Well I used to be.” I said. “No kids and my wife passed away. She drowned.”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She gasped. “Recently?”
“Quite recent.” I replied. “My sleeves are still wet.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes God Jokes

My mother... would save her money and take us skiing on the weekend, which was brave. She took a black family skiing. This was the 80s -- brothers weren't skiing, man. People didn't know what we were coming down the mountain. They'd be looking up, confused, 'Oh my God, are those bears? I think I see bears skiing down the mountain! Huh, they're African Americans trying something new. What's next -- golf?'

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Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes God Jokes Men jokes

Two Muslim mothers watching their kids playing in the park.
One turns to the other and says
“We have to treasure these years, they вlоw up so quickly nowadays”

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Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Bert: Hey Ernie, would you like some ice cream?
Ernie: Sherbert

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Kids Jokes

Explaining the population explosion of the world a teacher was elaborating
"Suppose all world population are walking and jumping off the globe.
The line will still be endless"
A student appeared confused and the teacher clarified " You see as and when a person jumps off another will be born and the line will continue for ever"
Still the young student wore the bewildered look "What is the doubt" the teacher asked. You said,
"You said, they were all walking, teacher"

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Kids Jokes

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

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Kids Jokes

When I was a kid, the slide was four stories high and you had to climb up like a fireman. And you always bumped your shin on that last rung. And that slide -- it was metal sitting in the sun for nine days. There was no nighttime when I was a kid. There was just daylight. That was a giant skillet, that's what that was.

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Kids Jokes

Our son's the coolest. We named him Owen 'cause that's what we figured we'll be doing for the rest of our lives.

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Kids Jokes

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy
Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
Catch him."

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Kids Jokes

White kids' parents used to make some good cookies. My mother, she made sweet potato pie. She bought cookies, and they were never the good cookies. It was always the pack of 1000 that said:
'Cookies.'

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes

This fат girl came on to me in a club..
“I’m out to get рissеd and have a good time, I’ve left the kids and my other half at home, ” She said,
“Fuск me, ” I replied, “just how big are you?”

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Kids Jokes Fat Jokes

A kid goes up to his dad after school and says,
"Dad, I just had sеx with my teacher." The dad is proud and offers to buy the kid a bicycle. So, he takes his son to the store and lets him pick out a bike. Afterwards, the dad asks "Do you wanna ride your new bike home?" and the son says,
"No, my аss still hurts." DmR

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Three kids in a playground talking about their dads and how great they are.
The first one says, “My dad is the fastest man in the world, he can outrun a tiger.”
The second says, “Mine can outrun a cheetah, he’s so quick.”
The third is unimpressed and laughs, “Mine works for the council, so he’s the fastest.”
“How?” the others ask.
“He finishes work at 5.30 but he’s home by 2.

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes