Kids Jokes

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Teacher: why is there a cat in here?
Kid: Beacuse I heard my daddy say to my mummy I'm going to eat that рussy when the kids are at school, so I'm saving him.
Teacher: ...

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

The Tooth Fairy teaches kids that they get money for their body parts. I blame her for prostitution.

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Money jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Kid: Oh my god. Me: what did you finally look at a mirror?

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Kids Jokes God Jokes

I love my mother, man, 'cause she wanted to keep me and my brothers off the streets. We grew up in a drug-infested neighborhood -- the United States.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

One good piece of advice my parents gave me when I was growing up is 'Always doo-doo before you leave the house' -- which is some of the reason why some of you are not laughing too hard now.

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Kids Jokes

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

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Kids Jokes

When I was a kid, my dad use to say:
“Discoveries are often made by not following instructions, by going off the main road, by trying the untried.”
Probably why I fail my driving tests.

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Kids Jokes Masturbation jokes Dad Jokes

Three young boys stand around talking about how fast their dads are.
First boy said my dad is so fast he can turn the light off and still get in bed before the light goes out.
Second boy goes my dad is so fast he can turn the hose off run to the end still get a full glass of water.
Third boy says my dad is so fast, he has a government job he gets off of work at 5 and he's home by 3.

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
There go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys - and this guy's got two of'em.
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Uh Oh! Page 47 is missing!

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Money jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

There's a reason it's called "girls gone wild" and not "women gone wild". When girls go wild, they show their тiтs. When women go wild, they кill men and drown their kids in a tub.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Boob Jokes

I dont uderstand y eerything hasto go against black people!
What have they ever done to u?
They were enslaved by white people and all u idiots do is to make fun about them. kickass if u agree with me
Btw i am a white 12 year old kid with this opinion

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Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Why didn't Ken and Barbie have kids?
Ken came in a different box.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles "how to read a book".

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Kids Jokes Internet Jokes

At an art gallery, a woman and her 10 year old son were having a tough time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one.
“I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one,” said the gallery owner, who happened to be nearby and witnessed the mother-son interaction.
“No,” said the boy. “This painting is wider, so it’ll cover the three holes I put in the wall.”

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes

You can't leave anything around little kids. They go through your stuff, your luggage, your toiletries. I sleep in their room; I wake up in the middle of the night -- they're rummaging through my things. They have my underwear on their head; they're wearing my lipstick. They're like raccoons on a camping trip.

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Kids Jokes

A preacher was walking down the street when he notices a little boy trying to ring the doorbell but it's just out of his reach. he watches his efforts for some time and walks over to press the the веll. After he pressed it he leveled down to the boy and asked' "Now what?" to which the boy turned and shouted, "NOW WE RUN!!"

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Kids Jokes

I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone...
I said,
"The whole time."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

An elderly couple stood before the family court judge after a long divorce trial. The judge asked why they wanted a divorce after having been married for nearly 70 years. They answered:
" We wanted to wait, till after the kids had died".

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Old People Jokes

A Grandmother asked her teenage grandson to lightly water the plants outside in the backyard, but to not wet the grass because the younger grandchildren wanted to go out to play in the yard. She didn't want the yard to be muddy for them to walk through. The teenage grandson happily said he understood and went outside to begin watering the plants.
A few moments later the Grandmother looked out the window and was surprised to see her teenage grandson using the water hose to spray water all over the grass in the yard. She ran outside to ask him why he was soaking the grass in water, causing the entire yard to turn muddy.
He replied, "To rinse the morning dew off the grass so it won't be wet when the kids come out to play."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

There is a blind kid in his room and his mother walks in to give him his soup.
Mom: If you drop that soup you will see whats coming.
Blind kid: *drops soup* Mom its not working.

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes