Kids Jokes

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I learned in my car that I could not have children. It was the day that I locked my keys in my car with the engine running.

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Kids Jokes

"Daddy," said my 10-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army."
"Baby," I answered, "I think the Air Force would be a better option for you."
"But I don’t want to be a pilot."
"You don’t have to be a pilot," I told her. "There are other jobs in the Air Force."
Her answer:
"I don’t want to be a flight attendant either."

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Kids Jokes

Random kid: fuск YOU!
Me: go fuск yourself, you'll get more pussy

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

Sure, she may be a little lacking in conversation skills, but that's OK. Unlike you, she doesn't need to explain why she still wets herself, then falls asleep on our floor.

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Kids Jokes

A kindergarten teacher asked:
“What is the shape of the earth?”
After a pause a little girl spoke up:
“According to my Daddy…terrible!”

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Kids Jokes

Things My Kids Taught Me About The Learning Curve - Part III …
• If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. …
• A 3 year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. …
• When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late. …
• Brake fluid mixed with Chlorox makes smoke, and lots of it. …
• A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
• A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
• A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
• Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes

Doc,” said the husband,”I got nine kids and the wife’s expecting again. How do I stop the stork?”
The doctor replied, “Shoot it in the air!”

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Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

How do you make a fат kid cry?
Shoot his feet

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Fat Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

The idea of a rock star making your child кill themselves is so ludicrous. I've enjoyed rock 'n' roll since I was a kid. When I was a kid, I worshiped The Beatles. I thought the Beatles were gods, but if they were to come up to me, personally, and said, 'You know, Paulie, George, Ringo and I were thinking you should кill yourself.' It's like, 'Yeah, I think there's a new Stones album out right now.'

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Why are these kids bringing all these guns to school? And the parents never know:
'Oh, we had no idea. We didn't know.' How could you not know that your kids are making 30 pipe bombs in the garage? My dad knew if I broke wind in the backyard.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dad Jokes

Bruno came home from school crying in hysterics. Looking at the bruises all
Over his face, it was apparent he got into some trouble.
"What happened to you?" his father says in a panicky manner.
"You remember the other day you told me 'Sticks and stones may break my
Bones, but words will never harm me.'"
"Of course," the father replies.
"Well," Bruno says,
"You were right about the sticks and stones."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

Me: you want to here a short joke
Kid:sure
Me: look in the mirror if you tall enough

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Kids Jokes

Kids nowadays don’t realise how lucky they are when it comes to роrn.
They can switch on the computer and have vast amounts in seconds.
When I was a kid I used to have a wаnк when I typed the digits 5318008 into a calculator.

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Kids Jokes Sex Jokes

As a kid, parent-teacher conferences were embarrassing and awkward for me and my parents. My teacher made my parents write on the blackboard one hundred times, "We will not have any more children."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

Yo momma so dumb, she thought Snoop dog was Snoopy's kid

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Kids Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Teacher: since you were talking can you solve the problem
Kid: the problem is you ,the solution is to mind your own business

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

That's a tough and dedicated job to be a class clown. You basically throw your educational future in the toilet for the amusement of your pinhead classmates who didn't pay a cover charge.

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Kids Jokes

Kid: How did you break your arm?
Me: I tripped.
Kid: How did you trip? huh?
Me I tripped over your mom when she tried to suск my d*ck.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

The boomerang was originally invented as a Frisbee for gingеr kids.

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Kids Jokes