A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked,
"What is the fastest thing you know of?" The first man replied, "A thought. It just pops into your head. There's no warning." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And, now you sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm, let me see, a blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house, and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said. Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is Diarrhea." "What!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Oh sure," said Bubba. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I had already sh*t my pants." Bubba is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you!
Two men are sitting in a restaurant bar at the top of a skyscraper. After each had a few drinks, one says to the other, ”I bet you didn’t know about the updrafts between these skyscrapers. They are so strong, you could jump and the wind will lift you right back where you started.”
The other guy said, “Nah, I find that hard to believe.”
The first said, “It’s true! I’ll prove it. Let’s go out to the balcony.”
They both walk to the balcony and the first guy jumps the rail. After a few seconds, a loud whooshing sound is heard and sure enough, the first guy lands back on the balcony.
The second guy just stares for a while, then looks over the side to see if there was a platform or net. “This has to be some kind of trick.”
The first guy says, “No really, it works!” To prove it, he once again jumps the rail and the same thing happens. “You try it!”
The second guy jumps over the rail and falls the many stories to the pavement below.
The first guy goes back in a sits at the bar.
The bartender walks over, delivers another drink and says, “Wow! You’re really mean when you get drunк, Superman!”