Money jokes

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Discussion between two future lawyers:
I don’t understand why they rejected me!
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients.
What did you tell them?
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands!
You’re hands?
What do you mean?
Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...

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Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Lawyer Jokes

When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.

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Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

What’s the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!

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Money jokes

When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.

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Money jokes Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Money is not everything.
There’s also MasterCard and Visa.

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Money jokes

William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ?
Mum: What crying man ?
William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'

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Money jokes Food Jokes Men jokes

Diск’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.

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Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a вuм steer.

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Money jokes Animal Jokes

Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave.
The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out "
I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!"
The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again.
The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,"I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!"

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Money jokes Banker Jokes

All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness... All most people want is a chance to prove money can’t make them happy.

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Money jokes

We have our water metered and it’s very expensive.
The other day the house was on fire and we didn’t know whether it would be cheaper to let it burn.

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Money jokes

After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

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Money jokes

‘If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.’ Mark Twain

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Money jokes Men jokes Dog jokes

What’s the difference between a рigеоn and a тrамр?
The рigеоn can put a deposit on a Porsche.

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Money jokes

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

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Money jokes

What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

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Money jokes

Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.

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Money jokes

A man goes into a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance, so the cashier pushes him over.

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Money jokes Men jokes Banker Jokes

Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.

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Money jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said,
"Who turned of the lights".

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Money jokes Yo Momma Jokes