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Periodic table jokes

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The periodic table says it's Bi,
But that's none of my bismuth.

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Periodic table jokes

A student isn't paying attention in a Chemistry class.
The teacher notices this.
"JOSEPH!" She shouts.
Joseph, the student, snaps his head up, to look at the teacher.
"Have you even heard a WORD I've said?!" she yells.
Joseph nods.
"Oh REALLY?! Then, I hope you won't mind telling me and the rest of the class the 116th element on the periodic table!"
Joseph looks at her blankly and goes, "Uuh..."

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Periodic table jokes School Jokes

Apparently some people on Tumblr say they're sexually attracted to elements on the periodic table.
That's not really my thing ... except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating.

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Periodic table jokes

How do you track the reproductive cycle of pachyderms?
With the Periodic Table of Elephants.

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Periodic table jokes

My chem teacher once asked me what S was on the periodic table, and I didn’t know so I said “the element of Surprise,” apparently he was surprised with my answer.

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Periodic table jokes School Jokes

The dying chemist tells his assistant to check the following numbers in the periodic table. Confused, but still wishing to follow his directions, he listens carefully and the chemist lists down the numbers, 10, 23, 47, 8, 7, 47, 53, 23, 63, 92, 15. After listing them down, the assistant tells the chemist he did it, and with a smile, the chemist weakly tells the assistant, "Now, read it."
"Ne V Ag O N N Ag I V Eu U P"

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Periodic table jokes

A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"

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Periodic table jokes

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table
I said "sorry, I left it atom"

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Periodic table jokes

What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously?
Silly-соn!

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Periodic table jokes

What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?
The atoms family.

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Periodic table jokes

If you ever encounter an evil witch show them the periodic table
They're good at chemistry

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Periodic table jokes

What did the rest of the periodic table say as gold went home at the end of the day?
Au revoir!

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Periodic table jokes

The periodic table just got one block smaller
Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element

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Periodic table jokes

There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc... because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron.

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Periodic table jokes

Eminem is that guy in chemistry class that raps the whole periodic table.
But skips Oxygen.

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Periodic table jokes

I would tell a joke about the periodic table.
But sadly all the good ones argon.

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Periodic table jokes

Elements of the periodic table are being interviewed.
The interviewer asks Oxygen what they are. Oxygen says "I'm a gas."
The interviewer asks Copper what they are. Copper says "I'm a solid."
The interviewer asks Bromine what they are. Bromine says "I'm a liquid."
The interviewer asks Roentgenium what they are. Roentgenium says "I have amnesia."

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Periodic table jokes

A man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him...
The official cause of death was "Exposure to the Elements".

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Periodic table jokes

What’s a pirates favorite element on the periodic table?
Gold. What the hеll would they need argon for?

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Periodic table jokes Pirate Jokes

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table
I got the lead role!

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Periodic table jokes

What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table?
“Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!”

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Periodic table jokes School Jokes

What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.

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Periodic table jokes

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

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