Philosophy Jokes

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Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be sтuрid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
The shin воnе is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

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Philosophy Jokes

Some days, I think that reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

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Philosophy Jokes

Has it ever occurred to optimists and pessimists that the glass is refillable?

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Philosophy Jokes

A person without a sense of humor is like a car without shocks, they get jolted by pebble on the road.

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Philosophy Jokes

It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone…Be that person.

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Philosophy Jokes

Some days it just doesn’t pay to chew through the restraints.

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Philosophy Jokes

Scratching my head… What was the best thing before sliced bread?

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Philosophy Jokes

Procrastination is like маsтurватiоn. Its all well and good until you wake up one day and realize your just srewing yourself over.

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Philosophy Jokes Masturbation jokes

Life is like a мidgет at the urinаl…
… you have to be on your toes.

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Philosophy Jokes

It’s only when you are bare-аss nакеd and a mosquito lands on your nuтsаск…
…that you realize there are other ways to solve a problem without resorting to violence.

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Philosophy Jokes

I’m in my 30’s, but I still feel like I’m in my 20’s until I hang out with people in their 20’s and I’m like, “nope, I’m in my 30’s”

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Philosophy Jokes

Sometimes I worry about what other people think but then I remember that most people are super dumb and probably don’t think at all, like those that vote for our political leaders.

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Political Jokes Philosophy Jokes

I never go to buy lottery tickets.
The chances of me being attacked by a dragon on the way, are higher than me winning it.

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Philosophy Jokes

Ever wondered why your nostrils, earhole and аrsеhоlе are just the right size for your index finger?

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Philosophy Jokes

I wonder if infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery.

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Philosophy Jokes

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiот, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

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Philosophy Jokes

Philosophy 201
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam…
After a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board:
“Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
A week later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words:
“What chair?”

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Philosophy Jokes School Jokes

Nigerian philosophy:
I think, therefore I scam.

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Philosophy Jokes

I know right from wrong.
Wrong is the fun one.

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Philosophy Jokes

Everyone picks their nose at some point.
It’s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.

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Philosophy Jokes