Philosophy Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Blonde Jokes Math Jokes Philosophy Jokes
An elderly rabbi was once on an airplane to Israel sitting next to a self-professed atheist. They were amicably chatting the whole trip.
Every now and then, the rabbi's grandchild, sitting in another row, would come over to him, bringing him a drink, or asking if he could get anything to make him more comfortable.
After this happened several times, the atheist sighed, "I wish my grandchildren would treat me with such respect. They hardly even say hello to me. What's your secret?"
The rabbi replied: "Think about it. To my grandchildren, I am two generations closer to Adam and Eve, the two individuals made by the hand of G‑d. So they look up to me. But according to the philosophy which you teach your grandchildren, you are two generations closer to being an ape. So why should they look up to you?"
Jewish Jokes Religion jokes God Jokes Aviation Jokes Atheist Jokes Philosophy Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
DEPT OF STATISTICS:
All grades are plotted along the normal веll curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in.
The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELIGION:
Grade is determined by God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:
What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
Grades are variable.
DEPT OF LOGIC:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:
Random number generator determines grade.
MUSIC DEPARTMENT:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION:
Everybody gets an A.
God Jokes Religion jokes School Jokes Science jokes Math Jokes History Jokes Philosophy Jokes
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about.
He asks his father for advice.
The father replies:
"My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain.
Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl:
"Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?"
Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card.
He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question:
"If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
Marriage and Family Jokes Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Dating Jokes Philosophy Jokes
Brave Pig With the Peg Leg Το γουρουνάκι. - Чичо, защо прасето е с дървен крак - ¿Cómo es que últimamente te va tan bien Pepe? - Se lo debo a un cerdo que me compré. Fue un poco caro, pero ¡es un genio! Es capaz de ir al casino ¡y ganar! Gracias a eso ya no tengo problemas económicos Además, me ha descubierto en la granja una mina de oro y petróleo. Él mismo se encarga de... Veterinären hör talas om en bonde som har en gris med protes. Han åker genast dit, och finner en sugga med vänster bakben helt av trä. Veterinären: - Detta är en medicinsk sensation. Varför har ni... Era una vez un tipo que recorría la carretera en su vehículo y de repente, a la orilla de esta ve a un cerdito con una patita de palo, y asombrado detuvo la marcha y se dijo, no lo puedo creer y se...
School Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Philosophy Jokes
Top ten things WOMEN would do if they woke up and had a реnis for a day: …..
…..
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America ….
9. Learn to stare with that “I’m undrеssing you” look. …..
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat. …..
7. Рее standing up while talking to other men at a urinаl.
6. Determine why NO MAN can hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it’s like to be on the other end of a surging оrgаsм.
4. Touch/shift/scratch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down nакеd with an еrестiоn to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man’s eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
And, the NUMBER ONE thing women would do if they woke up with a реnis…
1. Get a вlоw job.
Jokes about Women Men jokes USA Jokes Philosophy Jokes