Fed up of airport security. Just got stopped for carrying a bottle of water but a guy with a long beard and Turban went through straight away. 0 0 0
The following conversation took place between Hillary Clinton and Sатаn.Hillary: I thought you said I was gonna win the election!!Satan: I thought you said you had a soul. 0 0 0
Government has announced new plans to help first-time buyers which is great. They have as much right as anyone to have a house repossessed. 0 0 0
Why do politicians make the best patients in surgery?They have no guts, no heart, no spine, and the head and аss are interchangeable. 0 0 0
Three prominent politicians in boarded the same flight to from New York to England.The first Politician started, “I can throw one $1000 note down and make one person laugh.”“I can make two persons laugh with just two $500 notes.” the second politician replied.The third politician retorted, “With just five pieces of $200 I can make five people laugh.”The pilot then looked at the politicians and added, “I’m the pilot here, meaning I can throw all of you down and make more than 150 million people laugh.” 0 0 0
The Greek government has just reported that production of humus and taramasalata is down 50% since the start of the month. Looks like it’s going to be a double dip recession. 0 0 0
Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant, discussing whether or not there was a difference between misfortune and disaster.“There is most certainly a difference,” said one. “If the cook suddenly died and we couldn’t have our dinner that would be a misfortune __ but certainly not a disaster. On the other hand, if a cruise ship carrying the Congress was to sink in the middle of the ocean, that would be a disaster __ but by no stretch of the imagination would it be a misfortune 0 0 0
Now that we are into renaming things like Mount Diablo, President Obama wants to rename the San Andreas Fault. His suggestion, Bush's Fault. 0 0 0
Does this sound like someone you elected??“I wasn’t lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth.” 0 0 0
I have diet Coke and Mentos in my house…In other words, my Nuclear Weapons Program is ten years ahead of North Korea. 0 0 0
Trump Today:Missile #1:“You’re fired!”Missile #2:“You’re fired!”Missile #3:“You’re fired!”And so on 56 more times. 0 0 0
The Prime Minister has recently announced a new initiative to boost our economy. Apparently the Ethiopians are going to be organizing a rock concert for us. 0 0 0
A politician awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation and found that the curtains were drawn around him."Why are the curtains closed," he said. "Is it night?"A nurse replied, "No, it's just that there's a fire at the empty warehouse across the street, and we didn't want you waking up and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful." 0 0 0
George Washington was such a great president.He never blamed any of the country's problems on the previous administration. 0 0 0