Political Jokes

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Cannibal Restaurant
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu…
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Politician: $100.00.
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, “Why such a price difference for the politician?”
The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one of them?”

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If George Washington was the father of our country, does that make his father the grandfather of our country?

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Why is a North Korean joke the best type of joke? ….
….
Because everyone gets it.

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The world is a funny place. We used to have Empires run by Emperors, then Kingdoms run by Kings, now we have Countries…

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This administration has conclusively discovered how to deal wit the deficit.
It’s a skill, which requires addition and distraction.

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I’m thinking Bill should buy Hillary some crotchless underwear. Nothing sεxual, just a way to give her a better grip on her broomstick.

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So quiet at the Clinton camp you could hear Bill’s pants drop!

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If pro is the opposite of соn, what's the opposite of progress?
Congress!

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AJokeADay has something in common with Donald trump.
Both use the slogan may the best joke win!

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British politician Janice Atkinson has demanded that the UK reintroduce the death penalty for suicide bombers. …
Uh huh…

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How do you make a politician laugh?
It's easy, just let them get away with something. The worse it is, the harder they laugh.

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After North Korea developed the Hwasong-10 Ballistic Missile, South Korea has responded by developing the more deadly Samsung Galaxy Note 7

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Politicians have to solve two primary problems, and they aren’t your problems they are concerned about. … The first problem is getting elected and the second is getting re-elected.

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The recession is getting so bad, the bank sent me a new type of credit card. It was pre-declined.

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Fidel Castro dies and goes up to heaven. He's standing at Heavens gate and St. Peter tells him it was because of what he did to his people, so he will be going to hеll. When Fidel gets to hеll he tells Sатаn he left his bags in heaven and needs to go get them. Sатаn says
"I'll get two of my demons to get them for you." The demons are in Heaven and they both are wondering where his bags are. One of the demons looks over the gates and they both start climbing the gates and an angel sees them and says " Great he's already sending refugees over."

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For the record USA….
Today is 9/11.

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Donald Trump has just released new details about his plan to send illegals back to Mexico. He’s gonna deport them Juan by Juan.

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Do politicians ever lie?
What do you think they get paid for?

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Two Irishmen were talking: The first asks, "Connor, you know that guy Trump who is running for President?" Connor says, “I do Sean, I do."
"Well", says Sean, "The next time he gets up to talk, I'd like to see someone throw a shoe at his head". "Now, now, you know you're not supposed to wish harm on anyone", says Connor. "Oh!” says Sean, "I'm not wishing him harm, and I just want to see Donald duck."

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What’s the difference between an Afghan hospital and an Al Qaeda training camp?
I don’t know I just fly the drone.

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