School Jokes

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A teacher shows Little Johnny a butterfly and asks, “Well, Johnny, what do we call this butterfly?”
Little Johnny says, “That’s a peacock butterfly.”
“Come on, Johnny, peacock butterflies aren’t green!”
“Well maybe this one isn’t ripe yet?”

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Teacher:
"Patrick, you are an hour and a half late for school. What in the world?!"
Student:
"Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all my pets."
Teacher:
"An hour and a half?!"
Student:
"Well it is quite a big ant farm…"

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Teacher: Marvin, please go outside the door and stay there.
Marvin: Why?
Teacher: Because your jabbering is very disruptive and nobody wants to listen to it.
Marvin: Then perhaps you should come along with me.

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How does a school differ from an insane asylum?
Different phone numbers.

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Teacher cracks down on Little Johnny:
“Come now, Johnny! Admit it. You had your parents help you with the homework, didn’t you?”
Little Johnny replies:
“Absolutely not. They did it all by themselves!“

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What is the single most popular subject at a snake school? Hisssstory.

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Why did the teacher have to visit the eye specialist?
She just couldn't control her pupils!

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Teacher:
“I hope I won’t catch you copying from Clarissa!”
Paula:
“Oh, I hope so too!“

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Teacher:
"You got a zero in the last exam."
Roger:
"I don’t think I deserve a zero!"
Teacher:
"Neither do I. But I can’t go any lower than that."

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What do teachers and clouds have in common?
Everything brightens up when they go away.

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Father: And, how do you like going to school?
Son: Well, the going bit is OK, the coming home bit is fine too, but the time in between kind of ruins it!

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Question: Why is it so much fun to ride a train with a teacher?
Answer: He says spit out the gum and the train goes chew chew.

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Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school?
[No]
But it’s fine now, the kid woke up again.

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So my math teacher asked me to do an initial value problem...
... And I said,
"Y Naught?"

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So there's this classroom full of students in china...
... And this kid named meng was making fun of the teacher. The teacher walks up to him and yells; now listen you... All of a sudden the kid next to him says, but meng did it not me.

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My math teacher's joke she told us
So, in math class my teacher told us a joke that goes like this: knock knock who's there? interrupting starfish interrup-(places hand on other person's face) we laughed so hard at the teacher's reaction.

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A joke from Civil War History Class today
Teacher asks:
'The southern plantations were very wealthy. Exactly how much of that wealth did the slaves get?'
Student answers:
'A whip'

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Teacher said this one in class.... Why are there no Muslims in Star Trek?
Because it's the future.

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My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay.
It wasn't justified.

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A yoga teacher was murdered...
... They're saying it was premeditated.

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