Sports Jokes

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"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do.
I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV.
That's until they throw me out of Applebees."
Dave Letterman

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Sports Jokes

How does David Beckham change a light bulb?
He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.

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Sports Jokes

Who was the last person to box Rocky Marciano?
His undertaker.
Golf

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Sports Jokes

Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!

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Sports Jokes

Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer
Smack!
Anna:OW!
Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna?
Anna: Andy punched me!
Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy?
Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.

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Sports Jokes Kids Jokes

The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.

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Sports Jokes

The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer.
No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...

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Sports Jokes

Hey ваве, can I get into your penalty box?
High five!

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Sports Jokes

The boxer fells down in the fourth round.
The referee starts counting.
Billy’s grandmother gets up on her legs from the first row and screams:
Stop counting for nothing, he won’t get up!
I know him from the buss...

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Sports Jokes

What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.

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Sports Jokes

A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report.
"Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!"
"OK, that's it, guys," Roger said.
"This is positively the last deal."

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Sports Jokes

After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded.
The couch says to him:
You should better take a decision!
You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...

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Sports Jokes

They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.

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Sports Jokes

Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!

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Sports Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Soccer Jokes

There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court.
The judge says,
"Do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no!
He beats me!".
The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?"
"No! she beats me too!".
So the judge says,
"Who do you want to live with then?"
The kid says,
"The Cleveland Browns... They can't beat anybody!"

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Sports Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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Sports Jokes

The man says,
"Will you buy вооzе?"
The вuм says,
"No."
The man says,
"Will you gamble it away?"
The вuм says,
"No."
So the man says,
"Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

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Sports Jokes Men jokes

A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting.
When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him:
"I am placed in the door and told when to jump.
My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.
"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered.
But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.
He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."

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Sports Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes

A true story, according to the LA Times.....
Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"
Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"

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Sports Jokes

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.
"I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends.
"I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."
"Batted .007," his wife added.

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