Sports Jokes - Page 39

Football is a dangerous sport and players can be hurt while playing. During a college game a player was hit pretty hard on one play. The doctor came onto the field as the teammates huddled around them. He asked the player a few questions as he lay on the field.
"What's three plus three?" the doctor asked him.
"Seven."
"What's the capital of the United States?"
"Alabama."
"Which state is farther east, California or Florida?"
"California."
At this point, the doctor thought the player was confused and probably had suffered a brain concussion so he told the coach to take him out of the game.
The coach quickly spoke up. "Don't do that, Doc. Let him play. He's alright. He didn't know that stuff even before he was hit."

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My Dad, who is a pastor, was reading the newspaper the other day and it had an article on our University’s football team who had 3 wins in the last 3 seasons. Then he says,
"Hey Son, did I tell you that I ran into head coach two months ago down at the Supermarket?"
"What did you tell him?" I replied.
"Well, I asked if I could pray for him and he said sure."
I couldn't help but ask, "Did you pray that he would quit or that he would be fired?"

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Sports Jokes Dad Jokes

Halfway through dinner one night, our friend told us of his days playing football in college as a defensive lineman.
“Did you play sports in college,” his wife then asked me.
“Yes,” I answered. “I was on West Point’s shooting team.”
“That’s great,” she said, appropriately impressed. “Offense or defense?”

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Sports Jokes Friendship Jokes

Dad:
"What happened to your eye?"
Tom:
"I was staring at a ball from afar, and I was wondering why it was getting вiggеr and вiggеr. Then, it hit me."

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Sports Jokes Dad Jokes

The fellow walked into a bar he had never been in before and ordered a drink. He then asked the bartender if he enjoyed dumb-jоск jokes. The beefy attendant leaned over the bar and fixed a withering glare on his customer. "Listen, buddy," he growled. "See those two big guys on the left? They're professional football players. And that huge fellow on your right is a world-class wrestler. That guy in the corner is a champion weight-lifter. And I lettered in three sports at Notre Dame. Now," he continued, "are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your dumb-jоск joke here?"
"Nah, I guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

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Sports Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

5 boys were playing football. 4 of them notices that the other one wasn't very good, so they asked him,
"Why are you not good at sport? Boys are meant to be really sporty"
The boy answered,
"Well I am really a girl but I had a sеx change"
The first boy asked her,
"What was the most painful part? Was it when they sewed a diск on you?" In which she replied no.
The second boy asked her,
"Was it when they chopped your воовs off?" In which she again replied no.
The third boy asked her,
"Was it when they pumped your muscles up" She still replied no.
The fourth boy asked her,
"Then what WAS the most painful part?"
The girl smiled innocently and said,
"When they cut my brain in half"

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Sports Jokes Sex Jokes

What's Al Qaeda's favorite sports team? New York Jets.

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Sports Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

How do you get a UNC fаn to leave your house? A: Pay the pizza delivery driver.

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Sports Jokes

How many UNC fans does it take to change a tire? A: Four: three to tap the keg and one to call daddy.

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Sports Jokes

How do you flick off a Green Bay Packer fаn? Hold four fingers up!

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Sports Jokes

What do Bill Buckner and Micheal Jackson have in common?
They both wear a glove on one hand for no apparent reason.

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Sports Jokes

Two elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so. "I think so, too," said Mabel. "Let's go!" They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half. They enjoyed the band music and cheerleader performance that followed. Then came the second half. When the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Madge nudged her sister. "I guess we can go home now, Mabel," she said. "This is where we came in."

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Sports Jokes

Which sport is always in trouble? A: BADminton.

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Sports Jokes

What do the Buffalo Sabres and the Titanic have in common?
They're both at the bottom of the Atlantic.

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Sports Jokes

What do hookers and the Dolphins have in common? They both have hundreds of ваlls pounded into their endzone every week.

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Sports Jokes

Three football teams (Arsnel, Liverpool, and Hartsfield) are flying from England across Egypt for a match in the Middle East. Their plane crashes in the desert and they survive. After days of wandering, they are really hungry so when they come across a camel, the footballers decide to кill it and eat it. The Liverpool team says,
"Because we play for Liverpool, will we eat the liver." The Hartsfield players decide, "Because we play for Hartsfield, we will eat the heart." Arsnel says,
"I think we might go hungry..."

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Sports Jokes

Why does Dwayne Wade wear number 3?
Because that's the amount of minutes he can stay on the court without getting hurt.

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Sports Jokes

How do you make NY Jets cookies?
Put them in a bowl and beat them for three hours.

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Sports Jokes

Two guys were playing golf. On the tee, Jack hit his shot way left of the fairway in some buttercups. Bob proceeded to hit and his ball went way off to the right in the bushes. Jack eventually found his ball and proceeded to hit in the buttercups. All of a sudden, he heard a big *РООF* and a fairy appeared. She proceeded to say to Jack that she was Mother Nature and that she was really upset at him for damaging the buttercups. She said,
"Jack, for all the damage that you did to my buttercups, you will not have any butter to put on your toast in the morning for the next month. No, as a matter of fact, I am so upset at you that you won't have any butter for the whole next year! That should teach you a lesson so you won't hurt my creations." *РООF* She disappeared. Jack, stunned by what just happened, called out, "Bob! Bob! Come over here here quick!" Bob replied, "Wait a sec. I'm hitting my shot and I'll be right over." Jack yelled back at Bob, "Where are you?" Bob answered, "I'm over here in the рussy willows." Jack shouted back, "Don't swing Bob! For the love of God, don't swing!"

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Sports Jokes God Jokes

Why did the coach go back to the bank?
To get his quarterback!

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Sports Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes