Donald Trump Jokes

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Trump has been criticized for being incredibly sexist, homophobic, fundementalist, and wanting to bring back slavery
In other words, he's been criticized for acting like a Muslim.

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Why did an immigrant marry trump ?
Because immigrants do the jobs that no American wants to do

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Come on, Trump has no ties in Russia.
His ties are made in China. His business loans are in Russia.

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Everyone is concerned about Trump's health after he posted an incomprehensible tweet about his covfefe
But don't worry. Dr. Hufghfufu just assured the media that he's agvofofi.

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I got President Trump's autograph today.
He signed my Deportation Notice.

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Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming...
It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.

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What's the least favourite vegetable of the Trump administration?
Leeks.

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Who will be in charge of Trump's border wall?
The Secretary of Da' Fence!

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Trump is trying to solve global warming
That's why he's trying to create a nuclear winter

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What went wrong with Trump's Suicide Attempt
Fake Noose

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Well... there goes Ted's reputation
Trump: No one embarrasses themselves on Twitter like I do
Ted Cruz: Hold my milk
Trump: Wait, this isn't milk...

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What did Donald Trump say when he matched King Jong Un on tinder?
Send Nukes

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Trump may have dodged the draft but he was still given honorary military ranks.
Private Tax Return,
Major Embarrassment,
Chief Petty Officer,
General Incompetence.

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What do atoms and President Trump have in common?
They make up everything

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Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump?
Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.

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Why can't President Trump ever finish reading a book?
Because everything he starts ends with chapter 11.

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Despite the fact she is a Democrat, Monica Lewinsky decided to vote for Trump in the last election...
.... She said to her friend, "I'd like to vote for Hillary, but the last Clinton left a very foul taste in my mouth."

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How would Donald Trump have said "grab em by the p***y" if he was a Communist?
Seize the means of reproduction

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Trump can now claim he’s a Vietnam vet
... Since he was shot down by North Korea in Hanoi

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Why is Donald Trump always in the comments?
Because the real joke is always in the comments.

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