Skip to main content
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken вrеаsтs, again she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her вrеаsтs. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken вrеаsтs.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…
What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English.
Back in the good ole days in Texas, when stage coaches and the like were popular, there were three people in a stage coach one day: a true red blooded born and raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city slicker from back East, and a beautiful and well endowed Texas lady.
The city slicker kept eyeing the lady, and finally he leaned forward and said, “Lady, I’ll give you $10 for a favor.”
The Texas gentleman looked appalled, pulled out his pistol, and killed the city slicker on the spot.
The lady gasped and said, “Thank you, suh, for defendin’ mah honor!”
Where upon the Texan holstered his gun and said, “Your honor, hеll! No tenderfoot is gonna raise the price of a woman in Texas!”
==
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and “in heat’, agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog while the neighbor’s were on vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, “Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his еrестiоn and he will be able to withdraw..”
“Do you think that will work?” she asked.
“Just worked on me,” he replied.