En advokat sidder i toget fra kbh til Paris, overfor ham sidder der en ung blondine med høretelefoner på.
Advokaten begynder at kede sig og vil lave lidt sjov med blondinen, Han rusker blidt i blondinen der småsover. Han spørger hende om hun er med på en lille leg, først er blondinen ikke intesseret men advokaten fortsætter bare med at snakke.
Advokaten:
Legen går ud på at du må stille mig et hvilken somhelst spørgsmål, og hvis jeg ikke kan svare på det skal får du 500 kr, men hvis jeg kan skal du give mig en 50 kr.
Blondinen:
Ok du begynder
Advokaten :
Hvor langt er der fra månen til jorden ?
Uden så meget at blinke flår blondinen en 50ér og af sin taske og ræker den til advokaten.
Advokaten mæsker sig og sætter sig igen
Blondinen:
Hvad er det er går op ad bakken med 3 ben og kommer ned på den anden side med 2 ben.
Advokaten tager sin lille bærbar frem og begynder at maile rundt til alle dem han kender, han bliver mere og mere nervøs så han begynder at ringe rundt.
Efer ca 1 time går han muggende hen til blondinen og skriver en check på 500 kr.
Advokaten hvad er det så ???
Uden så megt som at blinke flår blondinen en 50ér op af sin taske og avleverer den til advokaten.
Hvad kan man så lære af det ????
Blondiner behøver ikke at være dumme
Dette er citater fra bogen ‘Disorder in the American Courts’. Det er udtalelser som rent faktisk er blevet sagt i retten og derefter nedfældet af domstolenes referenter. Stor respekt til de, der har kunnet referere uden at flække af grin.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
- ______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
- ___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
- ___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
- ____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
- ________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
- __________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
- __________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shiттing me?
- ________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
- ___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
- ___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
- __________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
- ____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
- _____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
- ________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be оrаl, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Оrаl...
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.