1. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
….
2. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

3. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.

4. Birds are attracted to your beard.

5. Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest.

6. Your school fight song was “Dueling Banjos”

7. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

8. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

9. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.

10. There are more than five McDonald’s bags in your car.

Attribution: Jeff Foxworthy