Drinking and Drunk Jokes

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A guy takes up a new job.
On Monday he calls in and says, ‘I can’t come in today, I’m sick.’ He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, ‘I can’t come in today, I’m sick.’
The boss asks the foreman about him and he replies, ‘He’s great. He does the work of two men. We need him.’
So the next day the boss calls the guy into his office and says, ‘You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You’re a good worker and I’d hate to fire you. What’s the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?’
The guy replies, ‘No I don’t drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks heavily every weekend, then beats up my sister. So every Monday morning I go over to make sure she’s alright. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know I’m fсuкing her.’
The boss says, ‘You fсuк your sister?’
The guy replies, ‘Hey, I told you I was sick.’
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