Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.
For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk.
The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.
For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk.
The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.
For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk.
However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.
As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.

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Animal Jokes Science jokes Dog jokes

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."

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Animal Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

What kind of whale flies?
Pilot whales.

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Animal Jokes Aviation Jokes Pilot Jokes

I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s вullshiт – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”

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Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes Dog jokes

Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole соw, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts.

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Animal Jokes

Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."

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Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Hotel Jokes

How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his вuтт?
Tricera-bottoms.

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Animal Jokes

Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Baby Jokes

Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

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Animal Jokes

How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.

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Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!

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Car and driving jokes Animal Jokes

What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.

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Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?

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Animal Jokes

Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Animal Jokes

What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer.

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Animal Jokes