Baby Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?

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Marriage and Family Jokes Baby Jokes Computer Jokes

Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven.
And everyone who goes to heaven has to work.
God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies.
Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out.
For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired.
As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."

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Office and Work Jokes God Jokes Baby Jokes Car and driving jokes Dark Humor Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first?
A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!

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Gross Jokes Baby Jokes

Why would the cannibal only eat babies?
He was on a diet!

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Baby Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore

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Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes Baby Jokes

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.

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Gross Jokes Sex Jokes Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes

What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.

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Gross Jokes Baby Jokes Car and driving jokes

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes

How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies?
He ate his way out.

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Gross Jokes Baby Jokes

A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him.
Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him.
He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.

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Sports Jokes Baby Jokes

"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"

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Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Baby Jokes

Q: Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?
A: Because two Wongs don't make a white.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Nationality Jokes Asian jokes Baby Jokes

What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Baby Jokes Dog jokes

What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga.
LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vаginа".
When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vаginа". "You can't name your baby that!"
"Don't disrespect me! I be her mama.
I can names her anything I want."
When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Baby Jokes

What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

A baby is never a „surprise" or "mistake! You had sex without a condom. What did you expect? "A plasma tv?"

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Baby Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

When you have a great time with the present, but it was not for you

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Baby Jokes Kids Jokes Pet Jokes Cat jokes