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Baby Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes Phone jokes
Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fuскing with you, it was born dead".
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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Nurse jokes Baby Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
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Kids Jokes Baby Jokes
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Baby Jokes
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying.
Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby.
I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Baby Jokes
What do you get when you have sеx with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
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Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes Sex Jokes Baby Jokes Pregnancy Jokes
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.
"Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of вееr left, so I let my baby brother have it."
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Kids Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Dad Jokes Baby Jokes Beer Jokes
Your momma's рussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
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Yo Momma Jokes Baby Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Dead baby jokes
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said,
"Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers.
He could be fired for that."
"You're right," she said.
"I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"
"That's a good idea," the man said.
"Here, let me hold your monkey."
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Една жена се качила в автобус с бебето си. Шофьорът казал: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then,... A lady boards the bus with her baby. The bus driver looks at the baby and says "that's the ugliest thing I've ever seen!" The lady finds a seat and she is mad as hell. She tells the guy in the seat... A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here,... В автобусе едет женщина с ребёнком.Заходит пьяный мужик: Kommt eine Frau mit ihrem Kind auf dem Arm in den Bus. Sagt der Busfahrer: "Mensch sie haben aber ein häßliches Kind!" Schockiert und immer noch verärgert setzt sich die Frau in den Bus. Ihr... Το πιο άσχημο μωρό The baby Το άσχημο μωρό Kadın bebeğiyle otobüse binerken otobüs şöförü kendini tutamayıp şöyle demiş: - Aman tanrım ne kadar çirkin bir bebek... Kadın sinirle biletini kutuya basmış, en arka tarafa geçmiş, bir adamın... Uma mulher entra no ônibus com seu filho e o motorista se espanta:,- Nossa, é o bebê mais feio que já vi!,A mulher ouve calada e senta na parte de trás do ônibus. Bufando, desabafa para outro passageiro:,- O motorista me insultou!,E o passageiro recomenda:,- Vá lá... Uma Senhora estava sentada com o seu filhinho no colo, na poltrona do ônibus, quando chegou um cavalheiro e sentou ao lado dela, quando ele olhou para a criança, ficou espantado e falou: "Virgem... Wchodzi kobieta z czarnym dzieckiem na rękach do autobusu. - Fuj, jakie brzydkie dziecko - mówi kierowca autobusu. Kobieta oburzona, ba, wpieniona na maksa siada obok innego pasażera i mówi: - Słyszał pan? Jak tak można. Jaki niekulturalny, jaka... På en buss i London satt en ung kvinna med sin baby i famnen när en berusad man klev på och stannade framför henne. Mannen tittade en lång stund på barnet och sa sedan så högt att alla i bussen... Met haar baby van zes dagen op de arm stapt Annie de bus in. "Dat is de lelijkste baby die ik ooit heb gezien!" zei de chauffeur, waarop Annie woedend achter in de bus plaatsneemt. De man naast... Annie stapt de bus in met haar pasgeboren baby op haar arm. Zegt de buschauffeur: 'Tering! Zo'n lelijk kind heb ik nog nooit gezien!' Annie wordt boos en gaat helemaal achterin de bus zitten. Een... Een vrouw staat samen met haar baby op de arm te wachten bij een bushalte. Als de bus aan komt en de vrouw instapt zegt de buschauffeur: "Dat is de lelijkste baby die ik ooit heb gezien!" De vrouw... En kvinde kommer ind i en bus med en baby på armen... Chaufføren kigger længe på ungen og udbryder: "Hold da kæft en grim unge" Kvinden sætter sig bagest i bussen, mens hun er ved at koge over af... En dame går på en buss med babyen sin. Bussjåføren sier: - Det er den styggeste babyen jeg noen gang har sett. Æsj!. Dama finner seg et sete og setter seg ned, mens hun furter. Hun snur seg til... En dame går på bussen med babyen sin, da bussjåføren utbryter: - «Det er den styggeste babyen jeg noen gang har sett. Æsj!» Damen går bak i bussen, setter seg ned og er rasende. «Sjåføren fornærmet... O femeie cu un copil in brate se urca in autobuz. Soferul Zice: - Aoleu, asta e cel mai urit copil pe care l-am vazut Vreodata. Femeia Se duce in spatele autobuzului si se asaza pe scaun, Spumegind... Moteris su mažu vaiku įlipa į mikroautobusą. Vairuotojas imdamas pinigus, dėbteli į vaiką: - Nieko sau! Tokios baidyklės dar nematęs! Keleivė skubiai pereina į mikroautobuso galą ir susinervinus...
Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Baby Jokes Ugly Jokes
Q: What's brown and taps on the window?
A: A baby in a microwave!
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Gross Jokes Baby Jokes
What's funnier than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby in a clown suit!
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Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's wомв.
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Baby Jokes Birthday Jokes
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
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Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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Gross Jokes Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
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Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes Beauty Jokes
What is a baby?
"A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
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Kids Jokes Baby Jokes
Q: What's worse than finding 10 zombie babies in one garbage can?
A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
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Gross Jokes Baby Jokes
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
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Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Baby Jokes Phone jokes
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies?
With a pitchfork.
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Gross Jokes Baby Jokes
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was hоrny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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Dirty jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Nurse jokes Baby Jokes
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