Phone jokes

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Life before smartphones...

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Technology Jokes Phone jokes

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!

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Chuck Norris Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Phone jokes

Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

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Phone jokes

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”

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Phone jokes

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

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Food Jokes Phone jokes

Q. How does E. T have an advantage over orphans
A. E. T can actually phone home

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Phone jokes

You want to hear a dirтy joke?
This guy and this girl were having sеx when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work.
The guy responds, "I’m sick"
His boss replies,
"You don’t sound sick"
The guy says, “I’m fuскing my sister” and hangs up the phone

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Phone jokes

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said we will never forget 911. I thought i should hope not its your phone number.

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Phone jokes

So i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

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Phone jokes

What’s the difference between a phone and a girl?? You can turn it off whenever you want

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Phone jokes

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

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Phone jokes

Hate when my phone dies instead of me )

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Phone jokes

Sans:why was the skeleton depressed? because frisk keeps reseting and it resets when he lost his phone

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Phone jokes

How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? He gives her a ring.

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Phone jokes Valentine's Day Jokes

If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm.
"At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller.
"At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight
"What time do you open ... in the morning?"
"At nine".
The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?"
"I told you before at nine".
"Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Phone jokes Boss Jokes

A guy dials his home phone number from work.
A strange woman answers.
The guy says,
"Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answered the woman.
"We don’t have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming.
He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
"What do I have to do?"
"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jеrк she’s with."
The maid puts down the phone.
The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool!"
"What pool?”
"
"Uh.. is this 832-4173?"

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Phone jokes

Why did the referee have such a high phone bill?
Because he made to many calls!

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Sports Jokes Phone jokes

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked,
"Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Phone jokes

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Phone jokes

Uncle owen! aunt Beru! Do't use your samsung galaxy note 7

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Star Wars Jokes Phone jokes