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Chuck Norris Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

One day Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger die and go to heaven. they see God in his throne and beside him is an empty seat. God says to them “Only one of you can have this seat. tell me why you believe you should have it.” Arnold says “I believe I deserve that seat because I have given back to the community and showed the importance of physical fitness.” Sylvester says “I believe I should have that seat because I have been a good role model by teaching people to stand up for themselves.” Chuck Norris then goes over to God, looks at him in the eyes and says, “I believe you are sitting in my seat.”

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Fitness jokes God Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

America dropped Chuck Norris into North Korea, starting a nuclear war.

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USA Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Military Jokes

The Russians thought that America was starting a nuclear war when Chuck Norris farted!

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USA Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Military Jokes

Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse Now we have a native animal in Africa called the giraffe

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Africa Jokes

Chuck Norris knows how they get the caramel inside the chocolate bar.

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Chocolate Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris gets his Digiorno delivered.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris's computer doesn't have a "esc" key. No one escapes Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris's alarm clock is a bear trap resting under his ваlls.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris jacks off with icy hot.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can watch new episodes of Gilligan's Island.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris smoked while his mom was pregnant.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris receives full retail value for his trade ins at Game Stop.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

The Da Vinci Code is Chuck Norris's locker combination.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris won a marathon using a treadmill, bathtub, and a stationary bike.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris plays horse shoes while their still wearing them.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris fingered a woman and got her pregnant.

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Jokes about Women Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris threw his first paper plane at the age of 4.
It landed yesterday.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't always eat out, but when he does. He prefers your mother.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck norris once lent his silly string to a teenager.. We now know him as spider man.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes

Chuck Norris Daily Routine
1.) Take acid shower
2.) Cut open chickens
3.) Tear out eggs
4.) Make egg-blood-milk smoothie
5.) Wolf down smoothie
6.) Wake up

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Chuck Norris Jokes