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Chuck Norris Jokes

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Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number.
You just answer the wrong phone.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes Phone jokes
Recently, a police patrol stopped Chuck Norris when he was driving along.
They got off with only a warning.
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris tried to lose weight. But Chuck Norris NEVER loses.
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris got lost in a forest once. Nobody’s seen that forest since.
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris once had an arm-wrestling competition with Superman. The bet was that the loser has to then wear his underwear on top of his trousers.
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Преди много години, Чък Норис и Супермен се хванали на бас, кой от двамата е по-силен. Un jour, Superman a fait un bras de fer avec Chuck Norris. Résultat : Superman a perdu. Depuis, il porte un slip au-dessus du pantalon. Chuck Norris ja Teräsmies löivät kerran vetoa. Häviäjän pitää loppuikänsä pitää alushousuja housujen päällä. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris Jokes Superhero Jokes
Crop circles aren’t alien creations. They are places where Chuck Norris has been practicing his roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Alien Jokes
When Chuck Norris walks across the meadow, he doesn’t smell the flowers. The flowers smell him.
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck is able to slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
chuck noris once threw a gernade and killed 30 people...
.................. then it exploxed
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Чък Норис хвърлил граната и убил 50 човека... малко по-късно гранатата гръмнала... Веднъж Чък Норис решил да хвърли граната... разхвърчали се крака, ръце, глави... и накрая гранатата гръмнала. Un jour, Chuck Norris a balancé une grenade qui a tué 50 terroristes. Et après, la grenade a explosé ! Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. Chuck Norris kastade iväg en handgranat och dödade 50 personer, sen exploderade granaten. Chuck Norris wirft eine Granate. 200 Menschen sterben. Dann explodiert die Granate. Einmal warf Chuck Norris eine Granate und tötete damit 20 Menschen. Dann explodierte die Granate. Chuck Norris heitti käsigranaatin, 50 ihmistä kuoli ja sitten granaatti räjähti. Chuck Norris tappoi kerran 50 ihmistä kranaatilla. Sitten se räjähti.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
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На Марс Марс Chuck Norris a déjà été sur Mars, c'est pour cela qu'il n'y a pas de signes de vie là bas. Det finns inget liv på Mars, vilket beror på att Chuck Norris redan har varit där. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there. Chuck Noris war bereits auf dem Mars. Das ist auch der Grund dafür, warum es dort kein Leben mehr gibt. Chuck Norris har allerede været på Mars – Det er derfor der ikke er liv på Mars. Chuck Norris on jo käynyt Marsissa. Siksi siellä ei ole elämää.
Chuck Norris Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, but death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Чък Норис е умрял преди 10 години, но Косачът не смее да му го каже... Храброст Смрт Chuck Norris ist tod Чък Норис бил починал преди 20 години, но смъртта още не можела да събере смелост да му го каже. Chuck Norris est mort depuis 10 ans, mais la Mort n'a pas encore trouvé le courage d'aller lui dire. Chuck Norris est déjà mort 5 fois, mais la mort n'a jamais osé lui dire. Chuck Norris dog för 20 år sedan, Döden har bara inte samlat mod nog att tala om det för honom än. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him. Chuck Norris ist eigentlich schon vor zehn Jahren gestorben. Der Tod traut sich bloss nicht ihm Bescheid zu sagen. Chuck Norris kuoli 20-vuotta sitten. Kuolema vain ei uskalla kertoa sitä hänelle. Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him. - Chuck Norris már kétszer meghalt, csak a halál nem mert eljönni érte! Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris. Чак Норис умре пред 10 години, но смртта нема храброст да му каже! En vérité Chuck Norris est mort depuis plus de 30 ans. Mais la Mort n'a jamais osée lui avouer.
Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris ran the Boston Marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris told a deaf man to shut up, and he did.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes
When Chuck Norris gets a shot, the doctor says to the needle,"now this is going to hurt"
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Chuck Norris Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
When Chuck Norris is late for school the teacher gives all the other students detention for being early.
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Когато Чък Норис закъснявал за училище, учителят му предупреждавал съучиниците му да не идват толкова рано.
Chuck Norris Jokes School Jokes
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars need to check both ways.
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Car and driving jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Internet Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shiт from anybody.
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Chuck Norris Jokes
2 cowboys and Chuck Norris were sitting at a campfire, while arguing who was the manliest.
Cowboy 1: I'm manlier, i killed a bull by punching away before it charged at me!
Coqboy 2: I'm manlier because i fought off an entire indian tribe worh my bare hands!
Chucks just chuckled at them, and continues to stoke the fire with his реnis.
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Cowboys and Indians Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
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