Criminal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I’m like a Magician with women.
I pick a girl at random off the street, saw her in half, and then make her disappear….

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Jokes about Women Criminal Jokes

This guy is sentenced to prison, and on his first day in jail, he meets his new cellmate…
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His new cellmate is a very large, mean-looking beast of a man, whose nickname is ‘Butch.’ He immediately asks, “Do you want to be the husband or the wife?”
The new inmate thinks to himself, “Well, if I have to do this, I might as well be the husband in this relationship,” after which he says to his intimidating cellmate, “I would like to be the husband.”
Butch is at least 300 pounds and he grins and replies, “Great! Now come over here and suск your wife’s diск.”

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Men jokes Relationship Jokes Criminal Jokes

I was playing pool with a black man in America today when he had to stretch across the table to рот a ball.
The police barged in to the place and shot him for resisting a rest.

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Men jokes USA Jokes Police Officer Jokes Criminal Jokes

Just a note to anyone thinking of breaking into and entering my home: Due to the high cost of ammunition, NO warning shots will be fired.
The police will only be of use drawing a chalk line around you.

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Police Officer Jokes Criminal Jokes

What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
- ” Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything !! “

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Criminal Jokes Dad Jokes

So this guy is speeding down a freeway, miles above the speed limit, and a cop pulls him over. …
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He comes up to the man and asks, “Why were you speeding today sir?” …
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The man replies, “I’m a juggler in a circus, and I’m late for my next show. I apologize. I assume you’ll be needing my license and registration.” …
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The cop looks intrigued, and says “whoa, hold on a sec. my daughter loves juggling! If you let me film you for a minute and send it to my daughter, I’ll let you go with a warning.” …
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The juggler says, “officer, I don’t have my equipment with me, I had to ship it separately.” the officer thinks for a minute, and brings back five flares from his car and lights them. …
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The juggler effortlessly starts to toss and catch the flaming flares and the officer is very impressed.
Meanwhile, another man driving by pulls over and stops his car. he gets out, stumbles into the back seat of the police car, and closes the door. the officer slowly approaches, hand on his gun, and says “sir, I’m going to have to ask you to slowly step out of the vehicle.”
The man looks at the cop and chuckles, his words slurred, “sorry officer but I ain’t never gonna pass that new sobriety test you got there”

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Criminal Jokes

My girlfriend asked me for a new phone, similar to a blackberry or an iPhone.
So I gave her a black-i

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Criminal Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes