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Dad Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
How do you make holy water? Freeze it into ice, then drill in some holes.
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Dad Jokes
My doctor recommended that I eat more at Burger King.
What else could he mean when he told me I should eat less McDonald’s?
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Dad Jokes
Did you know that there’s not a single canary on Canary Islands?
And did you know that the same holds for the Virgin Islands?
Really, not a single canary.
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Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? - А вы знали, что на Канарских островах совсем нет канареек? А вие знаете ли, че на Канарските острови няма канарчета? Știați că în Insulele Canare nu există canari? Tot așa e și cu Insulele Virgine. Nici acolo nu sunt canari... Dans les îles canaries y'a pas de canaris. C'est pareil dans les îles vierges... Y'en a pas non plus, de canaris! Wussten Sie, dass es auf den Kanarischen Inseln niсhт einen einzigen Kanarienvogel gibt? Dasselbe gilt auch für die Jungfraueninseln. Auch dort. Kein einziger Kanarienvogel. Visste dere at det ikke finnes kanarifugler på Kanariøyene? Det gjelder Jomfruøyene også, finnes ikke kanarifugler der heller
Dad Jokes
Do you have a car – but no gas money?
Just fаrт in your wallet! Tadaaa – gas money!
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Dad Jokes
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
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Dad Jokes
Two walls arrange a date – “Let's meet at the corner.”
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Unterhalten sich zwei Wände Τι λέει ένας τοίχος στον άλλο; Sagt die eine Wand zur anderen Wand: "Wir treffen uns an der Ecke!" Que dit un mur à un autre mur? On se rencontre au coin? - Vad sa den ena väggen till den andra? - Vi möts i hörnet... Hvad sagde den ene væg til den anden? – Vi mødes ved hjørnet? Hva sa den ene veggen til den andre? Svar: Vi møtes på hjørnet. Co mówi jedna ściana do drugiej? - Spotkamy się na rogu. Vad säger de två väggarna till varandra när de ska ha ett möte? Vi möts i hörnet. Two walls meet at the corner.
Dad Jokes
Working in a crematorium, you can never urn a living.
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Dad Jokes
What do you do when the phone rings and you get a private caller?
Don't answer that. Pick up for ranks Lieutenant and higher only.
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Dad Jokes Military Jokes
How much longer is the Amazonas compared to the Nile?
[Don't know]
By 4 letters.
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Dad Jokes
They are testing a revolutionary new blender, but they’re getting mixed results.
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Dad Jokes
A single glance tells me if somebody is lying. It’s the fact that they’re horizontal that gives it away.
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Dad Jokes
Did you know that UPS and Fedex are going into a merger? They will be called Fed-Ups now.
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Dad Jokes
Not even orcas dare attack an octopus.
It’s too well armed.
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Dad Jokes
I wanted to wear my camouflage jeans today but I just couldn’t find them.
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Dad Jokes
Cannibals aren’t very sociable. They’re all fed up with people.
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Dad Jokes Cannibal Jokes
I don’t know why people have a problem with wigs. It’s a look anybody can pull off!
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Dad Jokes
Two cows meet, one says,
"Mooooo!"
The other one is offended, "Hey, I just wanted to say that!"
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Dad Jokes
Two penguins meet. One says, “Jesus it is cold today."
The other hisses, “Shut up. Penguins can’t talk.”
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Dad Jokes
Why didn’t the Orange drive when the lights turned green again?
No juice!
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Dad Jokes
Do you know the most important words that could open a lot of doors in your life?
Push and Pull.
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Chiste de las dos plabras que abren puertas La gran lección del padre de Jaimito Запомни тези 2 думи, защото те ти отварят всички врати в живота: Remember these two words. They will open up the doors in your life. Push and pull. Sólo hay dos palabras en el mundo que te abrirán muchas puertas. Jale y empuje. Ay solo 2 palabras que te Abren las puertas cuales Son jale y empuje
Dad Jokes
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