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Dark Humor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
I didn't catch it, I was too busy маsтurватing.

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Dark Humor Jokes Masturbation jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes

Three gаy men died, and were cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, ''My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane to scatter his ashes in the sky.''
The second man said, ''My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake.''
The third man said, ''My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a рот of chili, so he can tear my аss up just one more time.''

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Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Funeral jokes Aviation Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: Where do one-legged people eat?
A: IHOP.

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill.
He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
“This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!”
“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?”
“Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.”
“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes Africa Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals?
A: He went down really well!

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Cannibal Jokes

Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ?
A. Nothing, yet.

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Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes

They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Love Jokes

Why did Osama Bin Laden кill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.

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Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sеx.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.

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Dark Humor Jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Dad Jokes

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car.
It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.

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Car and driving jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.

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Dark Humor Jokes Police Officer Jokes Cannibal Jokes

Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler

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Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Hitler Jokes History Jokes

Q: What do you call a Jew with a mental disability?
A: Auschwitztic.

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Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"

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Dark Humor Jokes

A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over.
The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?"
The man says, "I slowed down."
The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"

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Car and driving jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes

Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Easter Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Halloween Jokes

So a little kid and a child molester start walking into a forest.
They keep walking for what seems like hours, and it gets darker and darker and darker, and the forest gets deeper and deeper and deeper.
The kid turns to the child molester and he says "Gee mister, it sure is scary out here!"
The child molester says "How do you think I feel, kid? I'm gonna have to walk out of this forest by myself!"

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

"I want a divorce"!
"But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part."
"I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Wedding jokes Divorce Jokes Church jokes Sick and Death Jokes