Dark Humor - Page 45

Difference between Indian Movies and American
Movie :
-
American movies :
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than
Teaching or practice Kung Fu.
2. More than 50% of U. S. population are FBI/
CIA agents, working undercover.
3. The purpose of school system of U. S. is to
Promote basketball.
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U. S.
5. U. S. is a place where you can meet all
Mythical creatures like were wolves and vampires.
.
.
Indian movies :
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.
2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry,
Whichever wire you cut u'll always choose the
Right".
3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten
Up,
But will show pain when a girl cleans up his
Wound.
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is
Suspended from duty.
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street,
Everyone you meet will know the steps.

0 0

Kickass if you are a man, lame if you are a woman

0 0

Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Why are these kids bringing all these guns to school? And the parents never know:
'Oh, we had no idea. We didn't know.' How could you not know that your kids are making 30 pipe bombs in the garage? My dad knew if I broke wind in the backyard.

0 0

School Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dad Jokes

How did Sally get her head stuck in a vacuum? Her mother was getting an abortion.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

I was at the mall with my grandmother, and there were these two giant thugs in front of us. And one of them turns to the other and starts bragging about how, earlier in the week, he had robbed a convenience store and was stomping on the cashier's head. At this point, my grandmother turns to me and says loud enough for him to hear, 'We should report him.' That's when my quick wit and intellect kicks in, and I realize I need to make sure that he does not think that we are talking about him. So I turn to my grandmother, and I say, 'Вiтсh, I don't know you.'

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

The idea of a rock star making your child кill themselves is so ludicrous. I've enjoyed rock 'n' roll since I was a kid. When I was a kid, I worshiped The Beatles. I thought the Beatles were gods, but if they were to come up to me, personally, and said, 'You know, Paulie, George, Ringo and I were thinking you should кill yourself.' It's like, 'Yeah, I think there's a new Stones album out right now.'

0 0

Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

How do you make a fат kid cry?
Shoot his feet

0 0

Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Fat Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Dear friend,
Aliens are coming to earth this friday,
And there mission is to abduct all good looking people
Don't worry, you'll be safe!

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes Friendship Jokes

All the fun of suicide -- without that messy death at the end.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

Two men were talking about a friend who had recently passed away.
"By the time Jack died, he had a transplanted heart, a plastic hip joint, a plastic leg and a plastic arm."
"Where did they bury him?'"
"They didn't bury him -- he was recycled!"

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

I think boxers are the greatest athletes in all sports for the simple fact that they don't cry. That is mind-blowing. Have you ever been punched in the nose? Oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. They have to go back to corner, where some little man yells at them. 'Shut up, I just got punched in the face!'... If I was a boxer, do you know who I would hire as my corner man? My mom.

0 0

Sports Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes

I feel bad for older male Latino actors 'cause older male Hispanic actors -- they always give them the same сrаррy line in every hacky movie. Like, you'll see the guy's son, and he'll die in a hail of gunfire. Then the father, he'll drop to his knees, and he'll go, 'You don't understand. He was my only son.' Which is so sтuрid, 'cause what else is he supposed to say? 'It's OK. I've got two other sons.'

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes

Why did Osama Bin laden die? Because he was an аsshоlе responsible for the death of millions.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

And let me tell you something -- if you go to the emergency room and you've got a knife still stuck in your head, you go to the front of the line. You're next. 'Excuse me. I ain't got time to fill out no forms.'

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

Girl: Dad what is better, to pass or to fail?
Dad: To pass obviously.
Girl: Your gonna be so proud of me. I passed my pregnancy test!!
Dad: GET YOUR АSS HOME NOW!!!

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes Dad Jokes

I think car horns should sound like gunshots 'cause the sound of a horn is not representin' my road rage properly. I've never been angry with someone and had the urge to toot a trumpet.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

If gang members have to кill, кill constructively -- кill some Ku Klux Кlаn.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

I'm thinking, when I finally go, when my time is up, I'd like to be cremated. Most people when they're cremated, they want their ashes to be released over the ocean or maybe the grave of a loved one. I'd like to be sprinkled over the food of someone I don't like. I think it'd be the ultimate way to say, 'Eat me.'

0 0

Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

One day a baby соw walked up to its mother and asked,
"Momma why'd you name me Rose?"
The соw answered. "Because, when you where a baby, a rose petal fell on your nose."
The baby said,
"Okay, momma."
The baby's sister walked up and asked the соw, "Momma, why'd you name me, Daisy?"
The соw answered, "Because, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your nose."
The baby said,
"Okay, momma."
The third baby соw stumbled around and made a loud mooing noise.
The mother соw yelled.
"Shut up, Cinder Block!!!"

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

I want to be a тhug so bad, but I can't 'cause I wear glasses. Isn't that crazy? No one respects my тhug-ism because I have astigmatism.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes