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Dark Humor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I'm thinking, when I finally go, when my time is up, I'd like to be cremated. Most people when they're cremated, they want their ashes to be released over the ocean or maybe the grave of a loved one. I'd like to be sprinkled over the food of someone I don't like. I think it'd be the ultimate way to say, 'Eat me.'

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

One day a baby соw walked up to its mother and asked,
"Momma why'd you name me Rose?"
The соw answered. "Because, when you where a baby, a rose petal fell on your nose."
The baby said,
"Okay, momma."
The baby's sister walked up and asked the соw, "Momma, why'd you name me, Daisy?"
The соw answered, "Because, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your nose."
The baby said,
"Okay, momma."
The third baby соw stumbled around and made a loud mooing noise.
The mother соw yelled.
"Shut up, Cinder Block!!!"

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Dark Humor Jokes

I want to be a тhug so bad, but I can't 'cause I wear glasses. Isn't that crazy? No one respects my тhug-ism because I have astigmatism.

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Dark Humor Jokes

Who decided the monkey's couldn't run in the race?
The people who make that kind of decision

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Dark Humor Jokes

If the truth be known, I don't hit my children because I really don't think I could hit them a little.

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Dark Humor Jokes

Its not called being gаy its called being fabulous

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Dark Humor Jokes

Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? 'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I was in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off -- don't you just hate that? Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.' And I'm like, 'Hey! Get off the phone!' And he's like, 'Mind your own business.' And I almost went crazy, but then I looked at my bracelet: what would Jesus do? So I lit him on fire and sent him to Неll.

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Dark Humor Jokes

Goob is so gаy he tried to kiss me

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Dark Humor Jokes

Half of the people that post on this website need to go back to school and learn how to f*cking spell ... "Yo Сunт Touch Dis ... Stop, Grammar Time" ... Kickass if you agree

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School Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Klick "kickass" if you're fed up with "klick kickass" baits on this site!

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Dark Humor Jokes

One time, I got beat up by a kid named Jesus. And when you're seven, you can't tell the difference between Jesus, typical Puerto Rican name in your neighborhood, and Jesus, the actual savior. So I was walking around all confused -- you know, guilty. What had I done that the Lord would send his only begotten son down to Brooklyn to kick my аss?

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Girl 1#: every time you look in the mirror it breaks.
Nerd: at least it bothers to show up for work.
Need at least 10 kick ass

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Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

To all the people who use the wrong variation of the word "your" or "you're" I hope you burn in Неll...

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Dark Humor Jokes

I moved to L. A., so, you know, I joined a gym, because it was either that or a gang.

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Dark Humor Jokes

I've got a friend who smokes five packs a day. He has to wear nicotine slacks. He says he's afraid to quit because he might get heavy. If he doesn't quit, there will be six friends going, 'Boy, he is heavy.'

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Dark Humor Jokes Friendship Jokes

Mom:Were getting two dogs this weekend what would you like to call them Me:One and two because if one died you would still have two

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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

I think violence is wonderful, but what I object to in boxing is the total lack of explanation as to what happened between these guys to cause this fight to break out.

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Dark Humor Jokes

Its f*cking annoying when your joke gets deleted. Kickass if you agree.

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Dark Humor Jokes

Suскs when the sтuрid evil motherf*cker going over shiт for this site deletes your joke, barely giving it a chance. What an аsshоlе.

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Dark Humor Jokes

My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.

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School Jokes Dark Humor Jokes