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Dating Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
No matter what they did to you to make you hate them, you just can’t forget about someone that was good in bed.
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Dating Jokes
I was wheeling my trash trolley to the curb (before 6AM) and it struck me…
My garbage bin goes out more than I do.
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Dating Jokes
I said to my mate, “You should treat your girlfriend the same way you treat your mobile phone.”
He said, “What, take good care of her, and never lose her.”
I said, “No, upgrade every couple of years.”
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Dating Jokes
I’m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend.
Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
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Dating Jokes
Who else’s heart skips for a split second when your girlfriend asks to use your computer?
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Dating Jokes
I got talking to my date about palm reading earlier:
“You can tell a lot about a person from their hand,” I said.
“What can you tell about me?’ she replied.
“You’re a very confident, very warm person,” I smiled.
“Really, how can you tell?”
“Your hand’s on my соск.”
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Dating Jokes
“I’ve got a boyfriend,” is a girl’s way of saying fuск off and leave me alone.
“I’ve got a girlfriend,” is a boy’s way of proposing a тhrееsоме.
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Dating Jokes
A boy and a girl are driving through the countryside one evening and suddenly the car stops.
“Oh Dear” days the boy sarcastically, “we’ve run out of petrol, I’m just going for a рее behind the car”
Fearing that this is a plan to get her in the back seat, the girl gets out and walks round to the petrol cap, she smells it to see if there’s any petrol, but she can’t smell anything so she lights a match to have a look. ВАNG!!
They’re both blown into the bushes, “Oh No!” she screams, “You’d better find my handbag, its got my purse in it”.
“Fсuк your purse!” shouts the boy, “You’d better find my hand, its got my рriск in it!”
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Dating Jokes
A girl suggested I set up a double date to make our first time out less awkward, I hope she likes my parents.
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Dating Jokes
I hate breakups. …
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Especially when they try to let you down gently. “It’s not you, it’s me” … “I just need some space” … “We can still be cousins”.
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Dating Jokes
I always order oysters on a first date.
It gives me a good idea on whether she spits or swallows.
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Dating Jokes
On the perfect date, what question do you ask a girl twice?
So… Can I come inside?
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Dating Jokes
I’ve just seen someone update their status on Facebook to “I Wish Every Guy Was Like Jack From The Titanic”.
What… Dead at the bottom of the ocean?
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Facebook Jokes Dating Jokes
George and Nancy were a week away from their wedding day. George was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm.
“Nancy, as it is only a week to the big day, how’s about a quick sсrеw?” said George.
Nancy’s answer as expected was, “No George, it’s only 6 days to go, however you can have a look at your prize.”
The next night George again pesters Nancy.
Being an understanding sort, Nancy gives in and says, “It is still 5 days to go and as you’ve been a good fellow, I’ll let you have a little feel of your prize.”
It only makes matters worse for George and by the next night he can hardly contain himself.
Seeing his obvious predicament Nancy greets George and whispers in his ear, “I can see what your problem is but you’ve still got 4 days to go. I will however let you have a good sniff of your prize.”
Not being bashful, George lifts Nancy’s skirts and sniffs.
After a minute he comes up for air, “Nancy, do you think it will keep ’till Saturday?!?”
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Dating Jokes
My girlfriend loves me wearing her раnтiеs.
She doesn’t know I do it, but I know she really enjoys thinking she’s lost weight when she puts them on after I’ve been using them.
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Dating Jokes
I broke up with my girlfriend because I am gаy …
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She got really mad, and sent me a picture of her suскing some dude’s соск. I said to her, “I didn’t know you knew Kevin!”
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Dating Jokes
The ladies call me Subway …
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Because my meat isn’t very good and I lie about being 6 inches.
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Dating Jokes
There are plenty of fish in the sea. Sometimes you just need a really big fishing rod.
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Dating Jokes
10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend:
1. Truthful
2. Intelligent
3. Gentle
4. Humble
5. Tolerant
6. Polite
7. Understanding
8. Sexy
9. Smart
10. Young
In short:
- T. I. G. H. T. P. U. S. S. Y
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Dating Jokes
I was on a date with this really attractive girl. Well, it wasn’t a date, date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie.
Then the plane landed.
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Dating Jokes
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