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Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

They should give this guy a test, you know, just to see how well the cure is going. Make him sit somewhere in a room with a guy in a lab coat:
'OK, would you say that salmon, mocha and champagne are foods or colors?'

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Food Jokes Dirty jokes

If God made anything better than рussy he kept it for himself.

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

My wife told me today that I'm gonna become a father for the very first time. The bad news is -- we already have two kids.

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News and Politics Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

When I say to a guy, 'Look, we've gotta talk,' what I really mean is, 'We've been together for months. I've now twisted my personality into an emotional pretzel to accommodate your every need. I want to know your idea of commitment versus my idea of commitment. Are we getting married? Are we having kids? Are we going to couples counseling? Where's this relationship going? I want to know.' When a guy says to me, 'Look, we've gotta talk,' what he means is, 'I want to have sеx with someone else, and will this interfere with me having sеx with you.'

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes

Detective 1: It seems that the victim died of blunt force trauma.
Detective 2: My favorite kind of sеx.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Non-Alcoholic вееr is like going down on your cousin...
Sure it tastes the same, but it just ain't right!

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Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Three steps to safely remove a woman’s вrа.
1. Cut straps with scissors, be careful as scissors can be sharp.
2. Never make comments about her niррlеs being weird.
3. If you’re in a supermarket make sure she isn’t carrying any glass bottles.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? And now I'm thirsty.

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Dirty jokes

Women reach their sеxuаl peak after 35 years. Men reach theirs after about four minutes.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

I saw the commercial for hеrреs medication. First of all, I know commercials are getting ridiculous, but the thing that tripped me out about this commercial was not how they made it look like your life get a whole lot better after hеrреs -- you can rock climb and jet ski and all that! -- they make it look like life begins with hеrреs.

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Dirty jokes

Waking up to a surprise bj is great but not when you’re in prison.

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Dirty jokes

Some people prefer their women young and tender; I prefer mine ten and younger.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

I met a cute chick in the тамроn section on the way to the register, so I asked her if I could take her out in 5 to 7 days.

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Dirty jokes

Take me to your leader! I hope he lives in your pants.

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Dirty jokes

Women have an easier time purchasing condoms than men because women are bold. Women aren't bothered by it. Women will walk into that drug store, 'Yeah, let me see, give me the lambskin lubricated one that's ribbed with feathers, two feet long and vibrates. That's the one I want, and I think I've got a coupon.'

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

I went to the doctor and I found out that I can't have children. The medical reason, as far as I understand it, is that when I еjасulате, there is rarely, if ever, a woman in the room.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

The three most important men in a women's life:
The doctor - who tells her to take off all her clothes
The dentist - who tells her to open wide
Milk man - who asks if she wants it in the front or back.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

If I'm ever in the military, I want to be in an all gаy platoon... My theory's pretty simple: I want the guy covering my аss to think my аss is pretty cute. I want them fighting for more than just country here, you know what I'm saying?

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Dirty jokes Military Jokes

Q. What’s the difference between toilet paper and news paper?
A. Toilet paper is brown and smells bad.

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News and Politics Jokes Dirty jokes

Normally, I don't go for the piercings and tattoos, but then she said to me that she got them because she's addicted to the pain. Yeah, which -- I was kind of intimidated, but kind of turned on at the same time. 'Cause y'all don't know, but I've been out of a relationship for three months now. I'm ready to have that just-out-of-prison sеx.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes