Dirty jokes - Page 109

Dog: ahhhhh, that swim was good
Cat: Nope, i hated it, i can't even walk on the kitchen floor without slipping
Dog: Heh heh, Well maybe you should stop being such a wet pussy
(fall's to floor laughing)
Cat:Ha ha, i really don't give a сrар, well at least not as much as you аsshоlе.
(fall's to floor laughing)

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Dirty jokes

What do you call someone who spreads chick peas and garlic over their gеniтаls?
A hummussexual.

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Dirty jokes

Very neat for a boy; always cleaned up his mess, no matter where he got it on me. He's Hispanic, so he's like, 'Now who's the wетваск?' I'm like, 'Hey, still you. Get back in the kitchen, those dishes aren't going to do themselves.'

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Dirty jokes

1). Got 4 friends? Play This Game.
2). Say I poo, instead say I one poo
Then I two poo, I three poo, I four poo, I five poo, I six poo, I seven Poo.
3). Guess what's the next one? 4). I eight poo = I ate poo.
5). Unlucky eighth friend

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

I had this girlfriend in high school, and we had sеx, and at first I thought that was kind of hot... but I knew there was something wrong. I was kind of confused, so I went to see my guidance counselor, and the sеx with him was so much better.

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School Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

It is little jimmys birthday again and he is alowwed to do anything he wants.
His mum is in the shower so Jimmy asks "mum can I come in with you?" His mum replies "Yes but don't look up or down!" so little Jimmy climbs in the shower with his mum, at first he tried not to look up or down but he had to. He looked up and said "mummy what are they?" His mum replies again " they are flash lights," Jimmy looked down and said "what's that?" His mum replies a third time "it's a cave."
Later on that night jimmys dad was taking a shower, little Jimmy asked the same question that he had asked his mum the first time " dad can I come in with you?" Dad replies "yes but don't look down!" Jimmy once again got in the shower and couldn't help but look down, he looked down and said "daddy what's that?" His dad replies "it's a snake"
So when jimmys mum and dad were in bed he asked them if he could sleep with them. His mum said yes so he got into bed with them......... Sometime later around midnight Jimmy screamed " MUM QUICK TURN ON THE FLASH LIGHTS THE SNAKE IS GOING INTO THE CAVE!!!!!

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

What's the difference between a вiтсh and a whоrе? A whоrе sleeps with everybody at the party, and a вiтсh sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

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Dirty jokes

KICKASS if you wish your partner would do the things you read on here to you. And KICKASS if some of these jokes make your рussy clench or, your diск start to rise.

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Dirty jokes

You can tell I've been married for a while. Went to the doctor's last week, he said, 'Have you had sеx in the last seven days?' And I said, 'No, my birthday's in April.'

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Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I was in a relationship for like eight-and-a-half years, and then I was re-released into the wild not too long ago. So, my internal 'How To Read a Woman Manual' has like a drawing of Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower on the cover, holding hands in a rumble seat and sipping sodas and strangling communists. And I'm just waiting until I can unzip my pants and find a family of raccoons living down there.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Relationship Jokes

Anybody get a random вiтсh phone call? Oh, you know what I mean. The women that found the phone number, then call it. This woman called me up, talking about, 'Look, I don't know who you is, but I found your phone number in my man's pocket. And you better not be fooling around with my man.' So I said, 'Honey, I don't know who you is either, but I'm gonna give you a little woman-to-woman advice. If you're having a problem in your relationship -- you think your man is cheating on you -- that's something you need to talk over with your man...' So I woke him up, gave him the phone and let her talk to him.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

Just be arrested for indecency at my local homeless shelter after trying to help them cook Christmas dinner. Apparently they told me to PLUCK the turkey.

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Dirty jokes Christmas Jokes

Once a girl asked her father, dad whats sеx? The father es shocked by this question, with a little hesitation he explanied her about the birds and bees talk, little weirded out the girl said mom was explaning me about the 2 SECTS of christianity......

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

There once was this really poor family. They were so poor that they lived on a bunk bed, the parents lived on the top bed and the son lived on the bottom bed. One night the mom and dad were having sеx and so they used code words, for harder they said cheese and for faster they said tomato. The kept screaming cheese, cheese, cheese, tomato, tomato, tomato. The son then said mom dad can you stop making sandwiches you're getting mayo all over my bed.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

What do you call a Russian hоокеr? Onyabackyabish.

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Dirty jokes

My uncle once еjасulатеd on me. Glad I got that off my chest.

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Dirty jokes

What did the left веаvеr lip say to the right?
We used to be so tight before that holiday to Jamaica!

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Dirty jokes

No matter who's president, it costs us money whatever they like. [Reagan] likes jelly beans. Carter liked peanuts; the price of peanuts went up. When Kennedy was president, you couldn't get a hоокеr for under $75.

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

The national debt isn't the only thing that's rising.

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Nationality Jokes Dirty jokes

I'm staying with a guy I went to high school with, in a one bedroom, which is oh so private. We got signals on the door just in case one of us has a magazine in the room.

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School Jokes Dirty jokes