Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

3 men go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and have to share the same bed, in the morning the following conversation takes place.
Man on left:
“I had a dream last night that I got a hand job.”
Man on right:
“No way, I also had a dream about that as well!”
Man in middle:
“That’s funny I had a dream I was skiing.”

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Little johnny came from school one night to hear noises coming from his perants bedroom and he walked in to see his dad on top of his mom and he asked them what they were doing they replied baking a cake little johnny said to his pearants were you baking cakes last night as well they said yess little johnny replied: because i licked the icing off the couch

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Boy:
'showering' baby sister walks in.
Sister: what's that?
Boy: my toy soldier.
Sister: ok.
Later that night the boys sister decides to go play with the toy soldier. the next morning the boy wakes up in hospital.
Boy: what happened why am I in hospital?
Sister: well I was playing with your toy soldier, then it spat in my face so I bit its head off.

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Dirty jokes Military Jokes

*If you watch Family Guy, you'll know this*
A young lady goes to the police station claiming she was rареd by a birthday clown. The police escorts her to the investigation room and questions her about the incident. After all the questions, they end with," Describe the overall incident." The lady looks terrified. She says," He made me....", she began crying.
After she let out her emotions, she crossed her legs. When she crossed them, a horn went off.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

I am too old to be sneaking into a вiтсh's house to have sеx with her son on a twin bed. Do you know how hard it is to have sеx on a twin bed? To try to keep your balance on a bed with some Star Wars sheets on it?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

The following conversation took place between a 7 year old and his dad.
Boy: You know that thing between your legs?
Dad: Yeah!
Boy: Why do girls eat it?
Dad: How do you know about that?
Boy: I saw mommy eating uncle Jeff’s

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

"I was watching a great роrn about two people f*cking earlier when suddenly my dad walked in"
"That must have been awkward"
"It was. I didn't even know my dad was a роrn star"

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

My diск has it's own jungle, your diск got touched by your uncle

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Dirty jokes

Two girls on gaming website
Girls: You know we are really good at swallowing swords..
Me: Really? Girls: Yeah we are... I can see your one getting longer ( they liск their lips)
Me: Good at swallowing swords huh? (Pulls out cutlass).
Me: Try swallowing this!

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Dirty jokes

You was sent away by the devil for unlidding raw gas out of your аss.

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Dirty jokes

Dude why did you're mom get a cat. Isn't one рussy good enough

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Dirty jokes

1, 2
I like you
3, 4
Cum some more
5, 6
Longer dicks
7, 8
Masturbate
9, 10
I cummed again
11, 12
Condom on the shelve
13, 14
Flat-Chest Pre-teen
15, 16
Nudes I've seen
17, 18
Pregnant Teen
19, 20
Oops to many!

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Dirty jokes

My third planet is misaligned. Can you adjust it for me?

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Dirty jokes

Ноrny GF- Kiss me in a place I've never been kissed before.
Dumb BF- So like, Canada?

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Dirty jokes

What's your sign? I hope it's "Yield."

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Dirty jokes

A baby sitter was baby siting a little girl and the little girl asked the baby sitter if she could take a shower with him the baby sitter said no the girl sayed but its my birthday please. the baby sitter said ok fine they took a showed and the little girl looked down and asked what is that the baby sitter said my monster
Later that night the baby sitter feel asleep and woke up in the hospital and asked what happed and she said I was petting your monster and it bit me so I bite its head off

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Dirty jokes

A scientific study has recently shown the best form of defence against a rарisт is running away. Apparently men with pants around their ankles can’t run very fast.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Me: Say "I am a man" after everything I say.
Friend: Alright.
Me: You broke up with your girlfriend.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You decided to get drunк.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You went to the bar.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You found a hot chick there.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You invited her to your house and she said yes.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You both came into your room and had sеx.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: Next morning you wake up.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: And she says...
Friend: I am a man.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

A friend of mine recently got a tattoo, which I thought was really cool because I don't have the guts to do it myself... And I asked her where she got it. And she told me she got it on her vаginа. And I said, 'Why? Why on God's green earth would you do such a thing?' And she said, 'Well, men find it sеxy.' OK, if you're at the point where a man is looking at your nакеd gеniтаls, guess what -- you got the job.

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God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

So, it's National Coming Out Day. I'm walking through Dallas/Fort Worth airport. I got my National Coming Out Day t-shirt on 'cause I'm proud -- got a sweatshirt on over that 'cause I'm smart.

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Nationality Jokes Dirty jokes