Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

In some ways, all men are the same. For example, why do you all like to have sеx first thing in the morning? Do we smell good first thing in the morning? 'Cause you don't.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

SON: Hey dad remember when I killed that butterfly and you said no butter for a week
Dad: yeah?
SON: and when I killed that honeybee you said no honey for a week
DAD: And
SON: Yeah, well mum just killed a cockroach should I break it to her?
Dad: ......

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Little boy: *pulls down pants* Whats this?
Dad: Those are your prized jewels. Dont let girls touch them.
Little boy: Okay!
The next day
*little boy comes in shocked*
Dad: What happened?!
Little boy: The little girl from next door tried to feel my jewels so i felt hers
Dad: ...

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Women think that men know how to communicate because when we meet you and start dating you, we talk a lot. Do you want to know why? Because we're trying to sleep with you. That's why. But we use all that up right away. That's why, after a month, we're like, 'Hey, do you like me? Because I'm out of material. Have I said or done anything in the last month that you like? Let me know. I'll say it again.'

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

Tried аnаl last night, it’s f*cking shiт!

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Dirty jokes

A man gets his wallet and walks to the fornt door, his wife sees him and calls,
"Baby where are you going?" he replies,
"A sтriр club with my mates"
She replies
"But baby I can sтriр for you for free"
He replies
"Ok then" the husband goes on his phone and begins texting.
Wife says,
"So are you telling them you aren't coming?"
He shakes his head and replies
"No I am bringing them over here"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

My son -- not really born for a romantic or on purpose kind of reasons, just ran out of condoms. Cute story. Can't wait til that comes up when he's older, you know. 'Daddy, tell me about when I was born.'
'Well, son, it all started when Walgreens wouldn't take a check.'

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Dirty jokes

I'll try to keep the air emissions to a minimum.

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Dirty jokes

A girl walks into a laundry mat puts a sеxy black dress in the dryer
And on her way out the girl at the desk says come again and the girl says no its tooth paste this time b*tch

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Dirty jokes

Daddy, can I get in the shower with you?
Sure but don't look down.
Daddy what's that?
My Ferrari?
Mommy, can I get in the shower with you?
Sure but don't look down.
Mommy what's that?
My garage?
Mommy, daddy, can I get in bed with you?
Sure but don't look under the covers.
Daddy, why is your Ferrari in mommy's garage?
....

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Dirty jokes

Please cooperate otherwise it gonna look like rаре.

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Dirty jokes

Q. What’s the difference between a bl0w job and a pizza?
A. When you order a pizza you have the option to pay by credit card.

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Dirty jokes

I have a lot of RAM in me. A lot.

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Dirty jokes

An old man went to the doctor and said "I just f*cked the 3 most beautiful girls in the world and they all gave me a good вlоwjов and for return I ate their рussy". the doctor said "what was their names?" the old man then replied with "Emily, Ashley and Marissa". the doctor said "well you better fuск me to because you just f*cked my mom my wife and my daughter".

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Have you ever had a one night stand that went horribly awry and just turned into this ugly two year relationship?

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Dirty jokes Relationship Jokes

Boyfriend: (after sеx) That felt SO GOOD.
Girlfriend: I know right, I really did love your diск too!
Boyfriend: Aw, is it long enough for you?
Girlfriend: Nah, it's just my Mum always told me to enjoy the little things in life!

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

The only way to have safe sеx is to abstain -- from drinking.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

How are nail polish and раnтiеs the same?
They both come off with a little alcohol.

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Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

A boy saw his mum and dad having sеx and they told him they were making sandwiches. The next morning the boy says to his parents 'You made a mess with the mayo !!!'

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy Saville, when I was eight he fixed it for me to milk a соw, blindfolded.

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Dirty jokes