Dirty jokes - Page 111

What do you call a Russian hоокеr? Onyabackyabish.

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Dirty jokes

My uncle once еjасulатеd on me. Glad I got that off my chest.

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Dirty jokes

What did the left веаvеr lip say to the right?
We used to be so tight before that holiday to Jamaica!

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Dirty jokes

No matter who's president, it costs us money whatever they like. [Reagan] likes jelly beans. Carter liked peanuts; the price of peanuts went up. When Kennedy was president, you couldn't get a hоокеr for under $75.

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

The national debt isn't the only thing that's rising.

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Nationality Jokes Dirty jokes

I'm staying with a guy I went to high school with, in a one bedroom, which is oh so private. We got signals on the door just in case one of us has a magazine in the room.

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

Q. What does оrаl sеx with an ugly women and rock climbing have in common?
A. They‘re both more enjoyable if you don’t look down.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

They blame everything on El Nino. When I can't get it up, I go, 'Baby, it's El Nino. It ain't me, baby. I'm a man -- it's El Nino, see? -- it's a warm front in the ocean, that's why this ain't working.'

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

There is a little girl on a bike and a cop
On a horse. The cop goes up to the
Little girl and says " did you get that
Bike from Santa?" Little girl says yes.
The cop says next year ask Santa for
Some reflectors and the cop gave her
A $5 fine. Then the girl replies hey cop
Did Santa get you that horse for
Christmas. He says yes. She says tell
Santa next year put the diск on the
Bottom of the horse not the top. LOL!!
My dad is trying to get 500 jаскаss!!!!

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Dirty jokes Christmas Jokes Dad Jokes

I've been a dad for awhile. I've noticed that certain things don't change about a child, no matter what stage of development they're in. When they're really small, just learning how to walk, you always have to tell them the same thing over and over again:
'Watch out. Don't touch that. Don't put that in your mouth.' Now my daughter is almost a teenager. Are we all on the same page on that? Because I really don't want to have to draw a diagram for that one.

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Billy woke up one morning and headed downstairs for breakfast. His dad was already there, reading the newspaper. Billy sat down and was about to eat until he thought about something. "Dad, why do we never see Mom in the morning," he inquired. His father lowered the newspaper to reveal a face of pure excitement, answering, "Look under the table, son."

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Apparantly some butch lеsвiаns have now started taking viаgrа to become harder!!

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Dirty jokes

My computer's got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.

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Dirty jokes

I'd like to be in orbit below your equator.

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Dirty jokes

Just trimmed my bush… I love gardening.

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Dirty jokes

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the grooms buddies received the following note:
“Dear friends,
We didn't mind the bed slats
Being sawed.
The electric shock was only a minor setback. But by god, i'm going to кill the guy who put novacaine in the vaseline!”

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God Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

So 3 guys are sitting at a bar. Ones a doctor, ones a lawyer, and the others a biker. The doctor says,"Its me and my wife's anniversary. I'm going to get her a Porsche and a diamond ring!"
"Oh yeah?" Questions the lawyer,"Well its me and my wife's anniversary too. I'm going to get her a Mercedes-Benz and a pearl necklace!" The Biker, rather lazy, says,"Oh yeah? Well its me and my old bag's anniversary also. Ima get her a T-Shirt and a viвrатоr. So if she doesn't like the T-Shirt, she can go fuск herself!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Lawyer Jokes

A guy is walking around an auction and sees a mirror going for $25,000 and finds a lady and asked why it was priced so high? She said the mirror will do whatever you ask it to. So the guy buys the mirror and takes it home, his wife is upset with how much money he just spent on the mirror. When he explains what the mirror does she's like okay let's try it out. Mirror mirror on the wall I want 34 dd and boom she grew large воовs! Then the man walks up and says mirror mirror on the wall I want a diск that touches the ground, boom his legs fell off!

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Money jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Got thrown out a Sтriр club last night for using monopoly money. I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake воовs.

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

I was walking past a newsstand today and I saw the National Enquirer, and the headline said, 'Rosie O'Donnell Breaks the Final Barrier and Tells her Kids She's a Lеsвiаn.' And that headline fascinated me because I never knew Rosie O'Donnell's kids were blind and deaf.

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Nationality Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes