Dirty jokes

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I walked in on my best friend маsтurватing on her period last night. Let’s just say she was caught red handed.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

My Friend: Did you know a sсrеw and the wall can have sеx.
Me: No?
My friend: Yeah it can because my sсrеw went threw the wall and the wall was your mom!
Me: Tell that too you sister!
My friend: I Dont have a sister!?!
Me: You will in 3 mounths.
Classroom:OHHHH!
Teacher: Shut up every one! This is reading class no one should be talking
Me: Ok shut up!
Classroom:OHHHH!
Teacher: Principle now.
Me: Principle isnt in here dumbie.
Teacher: Ok smart guy whats 9+10?
Me: 3 babys and some сuм left over.
Teacher: Ok im calling your parents!
Me: You cant there making a dog.
Teacher: How the FUСК can they MAKE a dog.
Me: You just said it.
*Teacher storms out the room*
Bully: Man you got to have no ваlls to do that.
Me: I know you'll find the answer for that in a few days
*Bullys phone rings*
Bully: Hello. YOUR PREGNATE!
Me: Never mind you'll find out now.
Thx for reading this give me a kickass for how long this was!
By the way give me a kickass for a free asian chick!

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

A five year old nакеd boy is standing on top of a five year old nакеd girl.
The boy says,
" Ok, we both got nакеd and i got on top of you, now when does it start to feel good?"
The girl replies,
"I don't know, but i already have a headache."

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Dirty jokes

I know I'm getting older because the things that turn me on have changed. Like, just a few years ago, know what turned me on? Hot Latino men turned me on. Know what turns me on now? You know what turns me on now? People who act reasonably towards me.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Texting some girl.
Me:Hey whats up?
Girl:Nothin what about you?
Me:Textin' the most beautiful girl ever!
Girl:Aaaw how cute!
Me:Yea she didnt reply so im texting you LMAO
Girl:FFFUUUUUUUUU

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Dirty jokes

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

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Dirty jokes

Bully: your gay
Me: that's funny because your mom thought diffirently last night

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Dirty jokes

Do me or do not; there is no try.

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Dirty jokes

Dad ,"how are you doing today?" Me,"fine fa... I mean pop." Dad,"I'm dad."
Me,"okay mad dad!"
Dad,"IT'S DAD!!!"
Me,"РООР!!!"
Both",stop yelling!"

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami.
1. You can play with your money.
2. You can watch your money grow.
3. Every woman loves to вlоw money.

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Dirty jokes

If you ever break your воnе, I can give you another
(Kickass if you get it)

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Dirty jokes

Barely legal girl suскing off her daddy with love cream on her face and all over her …
Oh sorry I thought this was Google.

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Dirty jokes

I'll show you a new meaning for "sick day."

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Dirty jokes

I told my girlfriend that I have a соск to take care of this weekend. I wonder what she has against chickens?

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Dirty jokes

I got this new drug -- it's called the Internet. I don't know if you've ever heard of that. It's a drug, 'cause one minute, you're sitting down, checking your e-mail, and four hours later, your pants are down to your ankles, and you feel awkward and lonely. And you know you should get up and walk away, but you can't.

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Dirty jokes Internet Jokes

“A cucumber, a pickle, and a реnis are sitting at a bar complaining about their lives. The cucumber says,
"My life suскs. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me. My life suскs." The pickle says,
"That's nothing compared to my life. I'm put in vinegar and stored away for months, out of sight. Man, my life is boring. I hate life." So the реnis says,
"What are you guys complaining about? My life is so messed up that I feel like shooting myself. They constantly wrap me in a plastic bag, shove me in a cave, and make me do push-ups until I throw up.”

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

A little girl walks up to her mum and pulls down her pants.
Little Girl:Mummy what's this?
Mum:That's your garage.
A little boy walks up to his dad and says.
Little Boyad what's this?
Dad:This is your car, you'll have to put this in a girls garage someday.
The little girl comes home one day and the mum asks.
Mum:What Happened?!
Little Girl: A boy tried to put his car in my garage so I ripped his wheels off.

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Guy: Hey im desperate for good sex
Girl: Your Mom and Dad were desperate for good sеx but it was not good enough.
Guy: Why?
Girl: Cause you came out of your moms vаginа 9 months later
Guy: Sсrеw you!

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Twinkle twinkle little hoe
Shut your legs they're not a door
Boys only like you cause your free
Cheaper than a money tree
Twinkle twinkle little hoe
Shut your legs they're not a door

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a kid well hes back in town and looking for you.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes