Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Isn't that -- at my age -- isn't that illegal? I mean, isn't that like me hanging around in front of a grammar school with a van and a kitten? Dirтy.

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

Just got a new tattoo on my diск. It says “Pull once for sеx, pull 100 times for no sеx”.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Am I the only person who hopes that David Beckham has sеx with Brad Pitt? I don't know who's in charge of casting in Hollywood, but make it happen before one of them is out of their prime. Can you imagine those two men together making love? If there's a man in here that's junk doesn't wiggle just a little bit at the thought of those two men together -- this has nothing to do with your homophobic sеxuаl preference. At that level it's art, you monkey. You should be honored that you share the same restroom with those Greek gods.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

At a family breakfast the following conversation takes place between a dad and his 7 year old son.
Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?”
Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can вlоw them up and she’ll float to heaven.”
Son: Really? Because Uncle Frank was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywhere!

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Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

What happened to the lemon when the blender rареd him?
It got lemonaids

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Dirty jokes

To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To put it in she pushes it.
It’s a hеll of a job threading a needle.

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Dirty jokes

Teacher: are you chewing boy? this is the worst вlоwjов I've had all day!

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Dirty jokes

Little Girl: Dear Santa, i do hope to have a little sister..
Santa: You want a sister? Send me your mother!

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Dirty jokes

I wish you could last as long in bed as you do in an argument.

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Dirty jokes

What did the computer say to the girl using it?
You turn my software in to hardware.

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Dirty jokes

Two homosexuals walking by the beach see a dog liск his own ваlls. The following conversation takes place.
Man 1:
“I’d like to be able do that!”
Man 2:
“Me too …. but I’m scared he might bite!”

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

What the hеll is miss universe? I mean does she have earth as her head or is she universes number 1 рrоsтiтuте?

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Dirty jokes

Why did God gave boys a реnis? Because It's only way to shut up women!

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Jokes about Women God Jokes Dirty jokes

*everyone in class talking at once*
Teacher: *yell's* WHY DO I HEAR TALKING
James: *yell's* CAUSE YOU HAVE EAR'S YOU DUMB АSS ВIТСН!
Teacher: James's can you please step outside of the class for a minute
*kid's in the back with air horn's make MLG horn sound's*
I legit no joke did this at school

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like, 'Oh, we're not going to have sеx, but I'll give you a hand job.' I have hands. They have the job. The position is filled. I don't need to outsource the work, alright? If you got a vаginа job for me, we can talk 'cause I am always hiring.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Dad: Son it's time for the sеx talk
Son: But dad...
Dad: No butts...
Dad: That is all.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

DUDE your mom took a pic of my реnis last year to savor it and its still printing

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Dirty jokes

Q. Why do women talk too much and men overthink everything?
A. Because women have 4 lips and men have 2 heads.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

Girlfriend: Fapping is such a despicably behavior
Me: You know, if god didn't want us to fap, he would've made our hands smaller
Me: Why do you think the T-Rex was so angry all the time

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

Ladies, we are not responsible for the size of our manhood; we got what God gave us. But every woman is responsible for the size of her vаginа.

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Jokes about Women God Jokes Dirty jokes