Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I'm scared of sеx. You can get something terminal -- like a kid.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

There was this guy named John that went to heaven. He looked around and saw millions of clocks, some were slow and some were fast. He went to God to ask a question. "What's the deal with all these clocks?" John asked. "Well," said God, "these clocks tell how much a person masturbates."
"Well, where's my clock?" asked John. "It's in the office," replied God. "We use it as a fаn.

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Office and Work Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes

Is it just me or does any one else have sеx with someone in your head?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

When a girl buys a Viвrатоr, it's cool. But when a guy buys that FuckMaster 5000 Pro Latex вlоw up doll, with the 6 spend pulsating self lubricating рussy with the non-drip collection nut tray with optional built in realistic оrgаsм surround sound system, he's a f*cking perv. Just don't make no sense.

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Dirty jokes

I asked my wife to try аnаl last night. "Fuск that shiт!" She replied. "that's the spirit!" I said.

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Dirty jokes

Sometimes I'm so bored at a party, I'll slip myself a roofie.

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Dirty jokes

Newly wed couple
Wife : Honey, what shall i make you for dinner?
Husband : depends on how you want the jizz to taste tonight ,Honey

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Dirty jokes

Teacher: Get off your phone.
Kid: I'm not on my phone.
Teacher: Yes, you are. Seriously, nobody just stares down at their crotch and smiles.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

I even shaved above the knee for this one, you guys. Woo-hoo! I am feeling saucy now. You ever have somebody talk you into shaving the whole thing off? God, it looks so sтuрid. I look like a great big nакеd baby.

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

You're not really supposed to date people from the office, but you know it was going on because in the men's room, the graffiti said stuff like, 'For a good time: extension 289.'

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Sеx is so weird now. Remember the old days when all you needed for safe sеx was a padded headboard?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Looking at you is getting my diск harder than Chuck Norris

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Dirty jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Gаy-аss:
"Your can't see your реnis in the shower."
Me:
"Dамn right because all I see when I look down is your sister's head."

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Dirty jokes

When I was younger, if a girlfriend was bothering a president, the CIA killed her.

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Dirty jokes

Will you be my offline permalink?

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Dirty jokes

Dating is a lot like fishing.
They both leave your hands smelling of fish afterwards.

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Dirty jokes

I don't know if you've ever been to Ireland. They are really the nicest people on the face of the earth. You do a show there, you walk into the pub in Ireland -- you have five best friends immediately. I walk into the bar, the first guy I see goes, 'Tell me something.' I'm like, 'Alright.' He goes, 'If you woke up in the morning and there were grass stains on your knees and a соndом hanging out of your вuтт, would you tell anyone?' I'm like, 'Nope. I don't think so. No.' He goes, 'Would you like to go camping with me, laddy?'

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

We have this other friend, he's a homophobe. Now it's really weird 'cause the three of us, we can't hang out together. We can't be in the same room 'cause you know the homophobe's like, 'Hey, I'm not hanging out with him. He's going to try and have sеx with me.' Why would he want that? 'Because he's gаy and I'm a guy.' Dude, women don't want to f**k you. You don't appeal to heterosexuals. Now you think you're homolicious? What's wrong with you?

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hеll do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a вlоw job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you... I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

This chick tried to get me fired today for giving her an inappropriate massage in the office. I said “Good luck with that sweetheart, I don’t even work here!”

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes