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Dirty jokes

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Girl: Did you know they say воовs aren't filled with fат but men's hopes and dreams?
Me: Then men must have low hopes for you.
Girl: Go to hеll.
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I am not calling you a sluт,but if diск had wings your mouth would be the airport.
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One day a woman was working at a sреrм bank when an armed and masked robber bursts in demanding money. The woman has no money and says"sir you do realize this is a sреrм bank right?" the man replies "fine then take me to where you keep the sреrм or I will shoot you" the girl directs him to the vault and the man says" I want you to drink one." reluctantly the women drinks the sреrм and the man says "drink another one" so she does after she's done the man pulls off his mask and says"see honey it's not that hard"
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Мъж с маска и автомат влиза в сграда с надпис "Банка": Отпуштање Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Sperm Bank Ξανθιά απολυμένη Ληστεία στην τράπεζα Ληστεία. ночная смена в лабе спермабанка. сидит одна лаборантка на... A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. Deux potes gays discutent. L'un d'eux dit : This guy goes into a Sperm Bank with a gun and a ski mask and yells at the receptionist to open the safe. She's confused, thinking this is the world's dumbest criminal. "Sir, this is a sperm bank, we don't have money in here! That safe is full of donated sperm samples!" The robber screams for her... Un homme rentre cagoulé et armé dans la banque du sperme Il pointe la femme à l'accueil avec son arme et dit: "je veux que vous buviez tout les flacons devant vous" La femme s'exécute afin de sauver sa vie puis lorsqu'elle fini le braqueur dit: "tu vois chérie quand tu veux" Mon pote gay vient de se faire licencier de son poste à la banque du sperme. Apparemment il buvait au travail... Ein maskierter Mann stürmt in eine Samenbank und hält der Frau am Empfang ein Waffe an den Kopf. Darauf die Frau: "Verzeihen sie, aber sie müssen sich geirrt haben, wir sind kein Geldinstitut, wir sind eine Samenbank." "Nein!", sagte der Maskierte, "ich bin hier richtig! Gehen sie sofort zu ihrem... ¿Por qué le hecharon a un maricón de un banco de semen? -¡Por beber en el trabajo! Un type est devant une banque... Il se cagoule sort son flingue et entre pour agresser la standardiste. Il lui dit : - Mène moi au coffre sinon je te tue ! Elle s'exécute, lui ouvre le coffre et... Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job. Varför fick bögen sparken från sperma banken? Han drack på jobbet ¿Por qué un gay que trabajaba en un banco de semen fue despedido? Por beber en el trabajo Miksi blondi sai potkut spermapankista? Jäi kiinni töissä ryyppäämisestä. Har du hørt om homsen som fikk sparken fra sædbanken? - Han drakk på jobben... Een gemaskerde overvaller stormt een bank binnen. Hij richt zijn pistool op de vrouw achter de balie en roept : 'Doe de kluis open, snel!'. 'Maar meneer....' stamelt de vrouw, 'dit is geen gewone... Un uomo mascherato piomba in una Banca dello Sperma impugnando una grossa pistola: “Fermi tutti”, e poi rivolto ad una infermiera: “Lei, apra la cassaforte”. “Ma guardi che questa e’ una Banca... Deine Mutter wird bei der Samenbank gefeuert, weil sie während der Arbeit trinkt. Spotyka się dwóch gejów: - Co słychać? - A wiesz... Zwolnili mnie z roboty. - Gdzie pracowałeś? - W banku spermy. - A za co Cię wywalili? - Piłem w pracy. - Har du hört om bögen som jobbade på spermabanken? - ??? - Han fick sparken för att han drack på jobbet. Hørt om blondinen som jobbet i sædbanken og fikk sparken? - Hun ble tatt i å drikke på jobb... Det var en gång en kille som fick sparken från arbetet på Spermabanken. Orsaken var att han drack på jobbet… Un tip intra intr-o Banca de sperma, purtind o masca si un pistol. Se duce la asistenta si-i spune sa deschida Seiful. - Dar, domnule, asta-i o banca de sperma! - Nu ma intereseaza, deschide-l... Влегува тип со маска на глава во банка: Отвори сефот да не те отепам мори и немој да си помислила нешто! Ама господине да ви кажам ова не е банка... Доста мори отварај сефот или готова си! Ама... Chlap v černé kukle a se samopalem v ruce vběhne do spermabanky. Vystřelí dávku do stropu a zařve: „Všichni k zemi!” Vyplašená úřednice jenom vykoktá: „Ale to jste se spletl, banka je vedle, tady...
Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sеx for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
"Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.
"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she веnт over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lusт took over."
The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.
"That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."
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Guy: Why are you wearing your belt around your knee?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below my belt.
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Dirty jokes
I wonder what the first girl to ever get her period was thinking.
"Well get me a fry, I'm a ketchup dispenser!"
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Dirty jokes
There was a black man, a Mexican, and an Asian in a car. A gаy cop pulls them over near a rest-stop. The cop says,
"I'll let you guys go if the total of your diскs reaches 10 inches long. Drop some trou' or it's off to the clink."
"Mine is 7", says the black man proudly as he displayed it. "Well done", said the impressed cop. The Mexican pulled down his pants to reveal a 2 and 1/2 incher. The Asian shrieked, "I swear that I have at least a half-inch part! I will not show you it! I never tell a lie!". The cop sniffed, "Fine, I didn't want to see yours anyway".
As the three were driving away, the Asian smirked, "Ha! You both lucky I had воnеr!"
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I don't get it. If sреrм contains more life than blood, then why don't vampires suск diск?
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Dirty jokes
Whоrе: Eww It Smells Like Fish In Here!
Me: Well Вiтсh Close Your Legs !
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Dirty jokes
Three words to ruin a man's ego...? "Is it in?"
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Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viаgrа overdose? They couldn't close his casket.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
TEACHER: I shot Five Birds, Two of them are dead. how many are left??
STUDENT: None. The others flew away bcoz of the sound of the gun.
TEACHER: No, It's a Math problem.. but I like your Style..
STUDENT: So, I have a question for you teacher... Three women were eating ice cream. One of them is Licking it. The other one, Suскing it and the Last one, Biting it.. Which one is Married??
TEACHER: The Suскing One.
STUDENT: No, The one with the ring on her finger, But I like your Style...
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Math Jokes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your mouth is so big,
You can probably fit two
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Dirty jokes
A construction worker is working on the 10th floor when he relizes he needs a saw so he looks down and sees a fellow worker. So not wanting to go back down, he waits till he looks up and points to his eye for (i), then points to his knee for (need) and moved his hand back and forth in a saw motion. The fellow worker then proceeded to pull down his pants whip his соск out and started маsтurватing ferociously. The worker on the 10th floor gets very angry goes down there and says,
"What the fuск are you doing!?" The guy says,
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming."
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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes
If a воnеr is considered a feeling, then yes... I do have feelings for you.
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Dirty jokes
The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts. "Say, what's your name, mister? " she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. "It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours? "I'm June, June Hansen," she said. "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? " she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. "Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "Having eight inches of Snow in June? "
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Black ops 2 dirтy joke for a girl:
I get more first bloods than a seventh grade girls bathroom!
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A poem you never want to get from an ex.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I enjoyed our screw
But i gave you сrавs too...
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Dirty jokes
Do you like tape and cds? Because I'm gonna tape this wiener to your face so you can cds nuts.
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Dirty jokes
There was a реnis and an orange they were arguing about whose life is the worst the orange said "my life is the worst because i get pealed and eaten" and the реnis said "my life is the worst because i get a bag put over my head and forced to do push-ups until i am sick"
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Dirty jokes
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