Disability Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What do a мidgет and a dwarf have in common?
Very little.

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Disability Jokes

Why can’t dyslexics tell jokes?
They always punch up the ∫uckline.

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Disability Jokes

I had a parcel delivered and it was covered in drool and crayon.
That’s the last time I pay for a special delivery.

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Disability Jokes

What do you call two Thalidomide children with no arms or legs in the water? . . . . . . . SWIMMING TRUNKS … …
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs tanning on the beach? . . . . . . . SANDY …
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs between two slices of bread? . . . . . . . PATTY
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs between two slices of bread with sauerkraut? . . . . . . . REUBEN

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Disability Jokes

I have two brothers, well three actually but one has learning difficulties, so he can’t count.

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Disability Jokes

What’s a riot?
Three dyslexics.

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Disability Jokes

My disabled son wants to do a parachute jump for charity.
Thick сunт, you think he would have learned his lesson after the last time.

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Disability Jokes

King Сnuт was intensely disliked by his dyslexic brother.

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Disability Jokes

How do you make a spastic walk?
Set fire to the wheelchair.

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Disability Jokes

I used to date a blind chick.
It took me forever to get her husband’s voice right.

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Disability Jokes

I got sacked from my job today for discrimination.
Apparently saying “Come on mate, I’m not paid enough to understand Morse code” is no way to speak to a customer who has a stammer.

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Disability Jokes

I was out shopping with the wife the other day when i saw a group of young ladies all wearing mini skirts.
I said, “Ooh look at those legs, I bet you wish you had legs like them?”
She didn’t answer, but I think it upset her because I heard her sniffle as I wheeled her up the ramp into Waitrose.

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Disability Jokes

My Auntie has a son Steve with Tourette”s, I don”t see them very often but I paid them a visit last Sunday. Steve and I were sitting waiting for my aunty to bring in some tea when all of a sudden he looked at me and said, “open the door, you сunт.”I felt a little bit embarrassed and did not reply. He said again, “open the fuскing door, you sтuрid сunт.” I began to feel completely awkward and did not have a clue how I should respond, so just pretended I did not hear him say anything. He started getting agitated and piped up, “you useless сunт, open the fuскing door.”At which point, to my relief, my aunty came into the room and said, “don”t worry, dear, he”s just trying to tell you a knock-knock joke.”

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Knock-knock jokes Disability Jokes

On a blind date:
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
“I’m over here.”

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Disability Jokes

I took a group of hunchbacks to watch a thriller at the cinema recently.
They were all on the edge of their seats.

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Disability Jokes

I’ve just bought that new book by Professor Stephen Hawking.
It’s called “Around the House in Eighty Days”

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Disability Jokes

Me and a mate were standing in a club. As a group of girls walked past I looked at one and said to my mate, “She’d get it. “She stopped and said, “How rude, you’ll never get it. “She looked quite smug and rather pleased with herself until I told her, we were discussing people who would be eligible for disability allowance!

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Disability Jokes

What is about being blind, that makes you want to take the dog for a walk every time ?

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Disability Jokes

I dated a girl in a wheelchair
She broke up with me because I kept pushing her around.
I said, “why don’t you stand up for yourself?”

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Disability Jokes

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, why did that cross-eyed lady on the bus become so рissеd?

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Disability Jokes