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Disability Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I was alone on a late train last night when a gorgeous cute girl got on and sat directly across from me. I couldn’t help but notice her skirt had ridden up revealing her раnтiеs to me.
She showed no interest in hiding her charms, her face was expressionless and she exuded an aloof sexuality I could not resist.
I dropped to my knees, gradually moving forward with the sole intention of placing my nose and tongue between her parted thighs.
As I got closer and could hear the panting get louder, I thought to myself, “I really wish her guide dog would fuск off!”

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Disability Jokes

Old dyslexic MacDonald had a farm, u o a e i

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Disability Jokes

How do deaf people know if someone is screaming or yawning?

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Disability Jokes

Was at the dentist today and it took almost an hour for me to be seen.
Why is the reception desk so fuскing high?

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Disability Jokes

I walked into an opticians.
I said, “Hello sir, I think I need some new glasses.”
She said, “I think you’re right.”

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Disability Jokes

What is a paraplegics favorite sport?
Drag racing

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Sports Jokes Disability Jokes

There’s a new night club opened near me but it’s for amputees only..
I’ve heard it’s crawling with fаnny….

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Disability Jokes

The following coversation took place at a hosiptal in Alabama.
Patient: Doctor doctor, I‘ve got Aids, do you have a cure?
Doctor: Go home and eat all the food in your kitchen.
Patient: will that cure my aids?
Doctor: no but it will show you what your аrsе is used for

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Disability Jokes

I caught this сunт in the pub looking right at my wife’s аrsе in a queue and invited him outside.
Well I haven’t been in a fight in years, but dad always told me to kick ’em on their shins and I even took a run up to do it when he was taking off his coat.
Fcuk me, absolutely no effect, not even a wince and you know when you’re in trouble, so I just ran.
At first he chased, at one point gaining on me, but I said a little prayer and then thank fсuк, an act of God and he stopped dead in his tracks….
He’d got a puncture on his wheelchair.

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God Jokes Dad Jokes Disability Jokes

A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club.
He hasn’t come out with any poems yet, but he’s made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.

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Friendship Jokes Disability Jokes

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes Disability Jokes

Why do midgets make shiт parents?
Because they struggle to put food on the table.

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Food Jokes Disability Jokes

Just decided to run a marathon for charity. At first I didn’t want to do it but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.

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Kids Jokes Disability Jokes

I got a letter from my doctor the other day.
“Brilliant!” I said to my wife, “he says I must have daily sеx!”
“No, you sтuрid сunт,” she replied once she’d read it, “he says you must have dyslexia.”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Disability Jokes

My wife just came in and said, “I don’t know if I am coming or going. ”
I said to her, ‘Judging by the look on your face, you’re going, ‘cus when you’re coming you look like a Down Syndrome Kid trying to whistle!”

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Kids Jokes Disability Jokes

I was helping out at the centre for deaf kids. I signed to one young boy, “If you had one wish, what would it be?”
He signed back, “I wish I could tell when my mum’s coming up the stairs.”

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Kids Jokes Disability Jokes

My wifes dancing is terrible, she has two left feet. I should never have married a woman from Chernobyl.

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Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Disability Jokes

As the doctor went through my notes, he said, “The surgery has risks. You will almost certainly regain the sight in your eyes but there is a chance it will affect your ability to maintain an еrестiоn.”
I said, “How come?”
He said, “Well … your wife is very ugly.”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Disability Jokes

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’?

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Disability Jokes

News paper ad: “Dial Sеxy, local rate calls”
Woman on phone: “Good afternoon, Dyslexia help line”
Me: “Oh воllоскs”

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Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Disability Jokes