Disability Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

How do deaf people know if someone is screaming or yawning?

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Disability Jokes

Was at the dentist today and it took almost an hour for me to be seen.
Why is the reception desk so fuскing high?

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Disability Jokes

I walked into an opticians.
I said, “Hello sir, I think I need some new glasses.”
She said, “I think you’re right.”

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Disability Jokes

What is a paraplegics favorite sport?
Drag racing

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Sports Jokes Disability Jokes

There’s a new night club opened near me but it’s for amputees only..
I’ve heard it’s crawling with fаnny….

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Disability Jokes

The following coversation took place at a hosiptal in Alabama.
Patient: Doctor doctor, I‘ve got Aids, do you have a cure?
Doctor: Go home and eat all the food in your kitchen.
Patient: will that cure my aids?
Doctor: no but it will show you what your аrsе is used for

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Disability Jokes

I caught this сunт in the pub looking right at my wife’s аrsе in a queue and invited him outside.
Well I haven’t been in a fight in years, but dad always told me to kick ’em on their shins and I even took a run up to do it when he was taking off his coat.
Fcuk me, absolutely no effect, not even a wince and you know when you’re in trouble, so I just ran.
At first he chased, at one point gaining on me, but I said a little prayer and then thank fсuк, an act of God and he stopped dead in his tracks….
He’d got a puncture on his wheelchair.

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God Jokes Dad Jokes Disability Jokes

A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club.
He hasn’t come out with any poems yet, but he’s made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.

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Friendship Jokes Disability Jokes

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes Disability Jokes

Why do midgets make shiт parents?
Because they struggle to put food on the table.

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Food Jokes Disability Jokes

Just decided to run a marathon for charity. At first I didn’t want to do it but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.

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Kids Jokes Disability Jokes

I got a letter from my doctor the other day.
“Brilliant!” I said to my wife, “he says I must have daily sеx!”
“No, you sтuрid сunт,” she replied once she’d read it, “he says you must have dyslexia.”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Disability Jokes

My wife just came in and said, “I don’t know if I am coming or going. ”
I said to her, ‘Judging by the look on your face, you’re going, ‘cus when you’re coming you look like a Down Syndrome Kid trying to whistle!”

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Kids Jokes Disability Jokes

I went to my new girlfriends house for a meal and to meet her family yesterday.
While I was in the kitchen, she shouted for me to turn on the veg.
You should have heard the row when she caught me fingеring her disabled sister.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Disability Jokes

My best friend went deaf last year and I told him everything would be alright but he wouldn’t listen.

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Friendship Jokes Disability Jokes

The cruel kids at school used to call me four eyes.
Still, quite a creative nickname seeing as I- I- I- I have a stutter..

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Disability Jokes

I met this girl on the weekend and took her home to meet my dad.
He whispered to me, “Where the fсuк did you get her from, son?! She’s cross-eyed, bow-legged, and she’s got no teeth!”
I replied, “There’s no need to whisper, Dad. She’s deaf as well.”

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Dad Jokes Disability Jokes

Doctors can have a cruel sense of humor sometimes. Went to see the doctor about my hair becoming thin and he told me I have НIV… Hair Is Vanishing.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Disability Jokes

My autistic brother recently got arrested after his first day at work as a taxi driver. I should never have told him to “knock em dead”.

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Office and Work Jokes Disability Jokes

I loaned a blind guy some money.
It’s OK though. He said he’d pay me back next time he saw me.

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Money jokes Disability Jokes Banker Jokes