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Dog jokes

Newest jokes in this category

My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug.
Turns out my dog licked my sample.

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Irish jokes Dog jokes

I'm a bit of a wizard when it comes to talking to animals.
I have a dog called woof. I asked him it's name, and it said woof. I have a cat called meow, because it said meow when I asked her name. And I have a parrot called Whatsyourname.

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

You know those weird cat-dog things in Undertale?...
I could never understand tem

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

A cat and dog stand next to a broken case. Who did it?
The Russians.

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

So I got a phone call from the post office today...
... Complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".

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Dog jokes

A man takes his dog to the vet to be examined...
The vet picks the dog up, looks it over, and then says,
"I'm going to have to put him down."
The man asks why.
"He's heavy."

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Dog jokes

[OC] My friend recently taught his dog how to say "I love you"
I'm still trying to teach my dad.

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Dad Jokes Dog jokes

I named my first dog "What".
Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."

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Dog jokes

We have to bury my dog today.
Mom: Don't be sad. All dogs go to heaven.
Me: Thanks mom. Where does updog go?
Mom: What's up dog?
Me: Not much dog. Just looking for a shovel.

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Dog jokes

I'm not saying my neighbor's dog is fat
But she's more than a little husky.

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Fat Jokes Dog jokes

Today I chopped up Onion for dinner and it made me cry. I guess it's true that you grow an attachment to an animal after you give it a name
He was a good dog

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

What do you do as a Dyslexic Insomniac Atheist?
You stay up all night questioning the existence of a dog.

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Dog jokes

I got a new female dog today
Her name is Karma

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Dog jokes

What does your dog and anne frank have in common?
An average lifespan of 15 years

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Dog jokes

Hey, did you see that movie about a hot-dog ?
It was an oscar wiener.

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Dog jokes

It's incredible; the way she looks up at me with her beautiful hazel eyee, how she cries for me when I leave, how soft she feels against my skin and most importantly, how she's not afraid to get frisky when we're in bed together.
I really love my dog.

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Dog jokes

A man and his son walk into a zoo and the only animal is a dog
The man looks to his son and says "this is a ShihTzu"

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Making a dog happy is so easy
It's a walk in the park.

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Dog jokes

My dog has just had two babies.
That's the last time I take a Pitbull for a walk in public.

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Dog jokes

My dog just became a therapy dog!
I’m so proud! He got his dogtorate!

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Dog jokes