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Dog jokes

Newest jokes in this category
At school:
Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here.
Teacher: How come?
Johnny: I ate my exercise books.
Teacher: What?! Why would you do such a thing?!
Johnny: The dog refused to.
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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dog jokes
Mommy says to little Johnny, “Why are you sticking out your tongue at the dog? It’s not nice.”
Little Johnny says, “But the dog started it.”
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Dog jokes Good jokes
What kind of dog eats with his ears?
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They all do. I haven’t seen a single dog remove their ears before tucking in.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
What happens when you cross a dog and a cheetah?
You get a dog who chases after cars a lot – and actually catches them.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
What an amazing, clever dog we have, darling.
He brings in the newspaper every day, and we’ve never even subscribed to any!
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat when you’re driving?
Invite him to bark in the front seat.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
Life is like a dogsled team.
If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard
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Funny Quotes Pet Jokes Dog jokes
What do you mean, my dog was chasing a guy on a bike?
My dog doesn’t ride a bike!
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Дойде съседката да се кара. Твърди, че моето куче гонило нейния син на колелото. Пратих я по дяволите. Моето куче няма колело. I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle. Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes. Hund jagt Leute Mon voisin est venu se plaindre Soit disant mon chien poursuit les gens en moto... Je lui ait répondu qu'il avait tort ! Mon chien n'a pas de moto - Proszę pani! Pani pit bull goni jakiegoś faceta na rowerze! - Niemożliwe! Mój pies nie umie jeździć na rowerze... Vad gör man med en hund som jagar folk på cykel? - Tar cykeln från hunden Polisen till mannen: - Din hund har jagat en man på cykel. Mannen upprört: - Struntprat. Min hund kan inte ens cykla. Mijn buurman kwam laatst naar mij toe, hij zegt: 'Je hond zit iedereen op de fiets achterna.' Ik zeg: 'Dat is niet zo mooi. Dan zal ik zijn fiets maar afpakken!' Govore mi da juris ljude na biciklu. Lazu, gazda. Znas da nemam bicikl.
Pet Jokes Dog jokes
What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping on your bed?
Quietly go sleep on the sofa.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog eating from your plate?
Seek medical help.
You’ve been seeing too many 250 pound dogs recently.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
I should have been more suspicious when the Chinese guy offered to “wok my dog for me”…
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?
[Don’t know]
OK, in that case I think I’ll mail that letter myself, thank you.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
What do you do when you see a rabid dog?
That depends on whether the dog has seen you, too.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
Why don’t blind people parachute very often?
It makes their guide dogs really uncomfortable.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
“I just found out why dogs drink out of the toilet.
My mother said it's because the water is a lot colder in there.
I'm like, How does my mother know that?”
- Wendy Liebman
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
Would you rather have a 250 pound dog chase you or a lion?
Um… I’d rather he chased the lion.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
Go on, ask a dog how’s life.
He’ll most likely answer, „Ruff! “
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
A dog sits in a bar, sipping a bourbon.
A customer walks up to him and says, “It’s not often that I see a dog drinking bourbon here!”
The dog sniffs, “Yeah, hardly a surprise at these prices.”
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry?
Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes
A dog thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… They must be gods…”
The cat thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… I must be God!”
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Pet Jokes Cat jokes Dog jokes
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