Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes

A hitchhiker walks down the road. Unfortunately, he has the runs and has to stop every 15 minutes. A truck driver stops and offers a ride, but warns him that he won't stop for anything.
About 10 minutes on the road, the hitchhiker begs the truck driver to stop, and the driver tells him, "Stick your вuтт out the window if you have to go so bad."
The hitchhiker sticks his вuтт out the window and lets loose. Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the two guys walking on the roadside.
Sprayed with feces, the first guy wipes his face and says, "What are them truckers chewing these days?"
The second guy wipes his face and says, "I don't know, but did you see the lips on that guy?"

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What do you call a gаy guy with a sixteen-inch d**k?
A pain in the аss!

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Gross Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician standing at the top of a slide.
The magician said, ''You may each go down the slide and ask for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide, you shall land in a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, "Вееr!" He landed in a glass of вееr. The second man went down yelling, "Lemonade!" He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy man down the slide yelling, "Wee!"

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Gross Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: He was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Animal Jokes Gross Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Sex Jokes Baby Jokes

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.
The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet.
He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy.
He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vомiт all over him.
"So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"

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Aviation Jokes Gross Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Superhero Jokes

"Doctor, I have a problem..."
"What’s your problem?"
"I рее in my sleep, every night!"
"Why?"
"Oh, well... Every night, a little devil visits me in my sleep and asks me; “Did we рее today?”.
"And, that’s it? The solution is so simple.. Listen to me! If the little devil comes again you’re gonna answer; 'Yeah, dude, I did!'"
"And that will cut it off?"
"Sure! Like a knife!"
At night, the little devil showed up on the patient’s dream and whispered;
"Did we рее today?"
"Yeah, dude, I did!" said angry the guy.
And little devil replied: "What about роор?"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Gross Jokes

There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor.
The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine.
The next day the doctor called and the wife answered.
"I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said.
"I'm going to need a sемеn, urinе and a fесаl sample".
After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"He needs a pair of your underwear".

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Marriage and Family Jokes Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Drug Jokes

Two men work in a mortuary.
One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today.
She'd been in the water for a week.
Her сliт was like a pickle."
"Ew!" says the other fellow.
"It was green?"
"No, it was sour!"

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men jokes

There was a hоrny young lady named Lil,
Who fuскеd dynamite sticks for a thrill.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her тiтs in Brazil!

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Gross Jokes Boob Jokes

A man farts in bed next to his wife.
His wife asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing."
She decides to get even, so she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."
He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."

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Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Fart Jokes

Legal Jargon!
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lеsвiаn?
A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!

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Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Lesbian jokes Lawyer Jokes

What's the definition of bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fаrт!

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Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Fart Jokes

Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself.
Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!"
Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."

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Gross Jokes Men jokes Dog jokes

Two college roommates are about to go to bed.
The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they begin to have sеx, the girl starts to moan, "Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, tomato!" The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night. You got mayonnaise in my eye!"

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Sex Jokes

An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's вuтт and asks, "How high up are we?"
"About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies.
The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes

A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying nакеd with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The nакеd man replies, "I'm finding out the time - it is 12:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15."
The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying nакеd with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The nакеd man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is - it is 3:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying nакеd on the ground, маsтurватing.
The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."

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Gross Jokes Men jokes Masturbation jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes American Jokes

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off.
After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to рее.

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

Three flies in a trashcan get trapped overnight in a bathroom. The first fly goes to the sink, the second fly stays in the tub, and the third fly chooses the toilet.
The next morning, all the exhausted flies gather back in the garbage can.
The first fly says, "I'm exhausted! I almost got washed down the drain."
The second fly says, "I almost got squashed by feet in the shower!"
The third fly says, "The toilet was fine until it suddenly got dark. First, I heard thunder, then it started to rain, and if it weren't for that big brown log, I surely would have drowned."

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Gross Jokes

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to роор so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."

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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women God Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Business jokes

Two gаy men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large сuмshот on the wall. He wailed to Tom, ''I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!!''
Paul looks at the wall and says ''What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!!!"

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